Just One Drop
Disclaimer: I do not own, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight
Summary: One night everything changes for Dr. Carlisle Cullen. One drop of human blood transforms the gentle vampire doctor into the creature he has always feared, a true vampire with a bloodlust for human blood. Can he overcome this craving or will he be damned for eternity? (Dark Carlisle) My first fanfic!
Just One Drop
“Paging Dr. Cullen, Dr. Cullen you are needed in the ER stat!” screeched the nurse. Her voice vibrated throughout Forks Hospital.
Thank goodness vampires don’t need to sleep because I was nearing the last hour of my double shift. I’ve seen many doctors and nurses roam the hospital halls like zombies. I made my way as quickly as humanly possible to the ER. I could already smell the all too familiar human blood lingering in the air. I mean what would you expect when you work in a hospital? All the 300 plus years of being exposed to an extreme amount of blood had desensitized me in a way. Not that blood didn’t smell appealing, it just didn’t have an effect on me anymore. Having an abnormal amount of self control was very helpful as well. Blood was blood, human or animal…..hell it could be alien for all I care. I had NEVER tasted human blood and I would never be tempted too.
“Dr. Cullen, Trevor Philips was just brought in ….he has several broken ribs, puncture wounds located in various areas of his throat and a gushing head wound,” informed the attending ER nurse.
I looked at this poor kid laying on the hospital gurney, no older than 17 perhaps. He was bleeding profusely from his head and throat. I sighed… another motorcycle accident victim. There were too many accidents these days with all the rain and dangerous winding roads. I instantly felt relieved that Bella had given up on riding her bike. I didn’t know what any of us, especially Edward would have done if anything would have happened to her riding those death traps. Bella was a danger magnet and motorcycles didn’t compliment danger magnets such as Bella.
“Motorcycle accident,” I sighed
The kid was lying on the operating table already while I started to check his vitals while the ER staff flocked around the patient trying to stop the bleeding. He was conscious but his breaths were coming out in short gasps. He started to choke and cough up blood. He was drowning in his own blood.
I needed to act fast. Before I could do anything else, the gushing hole by his throat spurted blood in my direction. Not having a surgical mask on, a small drop of blood landed between my cold, hard lips. It all happened so fast, that I myself couldn’t think fast enough to stop what happened next. Instinctively my tongue slightly darted out of my mouth to swipe away the offending red liquid.
It was hard to describe the feeling that coursed through my body when I had tasted the blood. It was like an explosion of flavors…..sweet honeysuckle, peaches and cream and blueberries. It was like having an orgasm but only in your mouth. I couldn’t understand why I felt so alive since I clearly wasn’t so to speak. I felt like I was reborn. My senses were heightened: sight, scent, sound, touch and taste….oh the taste of the sweet, sweet liquid lingering on my tongue. A low snarl ripped through my chest.
I could feel my eyes turn black due to my bloodlust. I needed to get out and fast. I was about to inform my staff of my emergency departure and have the next attending ER physician take over, whilst my cell vibrated in my pocket. It was Alice.
“I have an emergency, page Dr. Gerandy stat,” I anxiously called out to my staff while exiting the ER.
I flipped open the cell, “Alice, is everything alright?” I asked concerned.
“I should be asking you that question, Carlisle,” she squeaked.
“Yes I’m fine, I need to hunt,” I told her while turning on my car.
“Carlisle, listen to me, I saw…..”
“Alice DAMMIT! It was nothing! I’ll be fine. I just need to hunt,” I interrupted her with venom in my voice.
Where did this sudden hostility come from? I had never lost my calm before like this, not even with James. I felt like I was spiraling downward into a pit of hell. Was I loosing myself? I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my name.
“Carlisle please….just listen for a minute. Don’t give in to the “monster,” she pleaded, her voice serious and pained.
Monster? What monster? There was no monster. I had destroyed him when I decided to feed off of animals. The monster would never rear its ugly head and destroy what I have worked so hard for. The monster was locked away… far, far away and the key was lost. Or so I thought.
“Look Alice, I’ll be fine…like I said I just need to hunt,” I said reassuringly while I sped down the highway, away from civilization.
Had I just tried to reassure her or myself? I wasn’t sure but I felt like I needed to tell myself that it would be okay. Human blood, sweet human blood rolling down……
“CARLISLE are you still there?” Alice screeched interrupting my fantasy.
“Yes,” I sneered.
“Okay, call me if you need me, PLEASE Carlisle,” she said almost on the verge of dry sobbing.
“I will,” I said through clenched teeth and flipped my cell shut.
Human blood….mmmmm…just think of all that sweet, red liquid running down your throat. The heavenly liquid coating your insides ….do you taste that? It’s that sweet nectar lingering on your tongue?
Who was saying that? Was I thinking of that sweet, sweet red liquid? Was that my inner monster that I had suppressed all these centuries? No it can’t be …can it?
Shut the fuck up Carlisle and take what’s yours...ours! Stop thinking and tell me what the hell you want!
“NO! Get the hell outta my head!” I yelled at myself.
I approached a park and I instantly put the car in park and jumped out. I headed towards the surrounding woods. I needed to hunt and NOW!
About ten miles in, I smelled a herd of deer. Just as I got down into my crouch I heard that voice in my head again. What the fuck? Are you fucking stupid you idiot? Why in the hell are you hunting animals? Get yourself a tasty, little human bitch and suck her dry. You know you want to! Let your instincts take over…LET ME OUT!
“NOOO” I roared.
Just then I pounced and sank my teeth into the unsuspecting deer. I wasn’t even halfway finished when I spit the remainder of the foul tasting blood out of my mouth. It tasted horrific! I felt like I was a fucking mutt eating my own vomit after I had just thrown up.
“I need to hunt bigger game…bears,” I thought aloud.
Due to the fact that I had never tasted human blood since tonight, my son Jasper had informed me that the bigger the game, the tastier the blood. Tastier meaning that it would taste closer to human blood. I quickly buried the less than half drained corpse of the deer and went in search for bigger game.
I followed the scent of two black bears. They were lazily walking throughout the dark forest, searching for prey. Little did they know they would become my dinner tonight. I pounced on the first bear quickly grabbing its neck and snapping it. I didn’t mind challenging the bear for a fight but tonight wasn’t a night to ‘play with my food.’ However, the other bear instantly stood up on its hind legs, growling and snarling viciously at me. The bear felt threatened and wanted a challenge.
Shit! I lunged myself at the bear crashing into a near by tree, snapping it in half from the force. This bear was angry. I quickly grabbed it by the neck and sank my teeth into it. It howled in agony, the venom already starting to course through its veins. Before I could get my hands around the bear’s neck to snap it, its large clawed paw struck me, causing me to hit the large boulder beneath me, cracking it in the process.
NOW I was fucking pissed! If I had only listened to the monster, my monster that had been awakened, I could have been full with that sweet tasting human blood. I would have listened to my victim scream in pain while I sucked them dry! Instead, I was here wrestling a stupid bear. I was livid.
I got up and pounced on the bear a second time while I ripped its beating heart out of its chest. The bear instantly fell to the cold, moist ground. Without another thought, I sank my teeth into the bear’s furry neck. I drank and drank but its blood didn’t quench the burning in my throat. It almost felt as if I drank more of the bear’s blood, the burning increased. I stopped with my meal. Although the blood tasted somewhat better than the foul tasting deer’s blood, it was still nothing compared to the sweet, mouthwatering taste of a human’s.
In a blink of an eye, I made up my mind. I couldn’t take it any longer. I NEEDED to have human blood. I roughly grabbed the two foul tasting bears and threw them in a grave I had dug.
Yes Carlisle, do what feels right. You’re a fucking VAMPIRE Carlisle, it’s time you started acting like one….let your instincts take over. Do what feels right…do what comes natural….give yourself over to me….the monster within….your true nature.
In that second, my eyes turned black as coal while the venom started flowing. It spilled over the corners of my mouth. My lips were raised in an angry sneer while I headed towards my car, towards my true prey… humans.
I found a little run down night club in Seattle that was filled with intoxicated humans slurring their words and grinding against each other awkwardly to the music that blared from the speakers. As I entered the over crowded night club, I was hit with the most amazing smells. The aroma of the humans was absolutely mouthwatering. It was difficult to swallow all of my venom down. I had produced enough venom to take down every tasty human in this fucking night club.
I spotted a young woman with long, curly black hair dancing by herself near the bar. She looked attractive enough. Her hips were swaying erotically to the beat of the music. Her breasts looked as if they were about to pop out of her top. I wanted a tasty meal but I also wanted a decent fuck. All this bloodlust caused me to become aroused. Maybe she would let me fuck her first? Then after I had my fun, I’ll drain the bitch! I decided to stalk her slowly, like a predator would stalk its prey.
“Well hey there beautiful,” I purred seductively.
I didn’t need a real catchy pick up line since vampires naturally lured in their prey by just looks and natural charm alone. We could even dazzle our prey…yes we were powerful beyond belief. I leaned in behind her before she could turn around and took a sniff.
Mmmm ...strawberries and roses. I love fucking strawberries. The venom began to pool in my mouth. I desperately had to swallow it back in one large gulp before it ran down the sides of my mouth. Who knew that human blood could produce so much venom?
“Hi there handsome,” she slurred.
Her breath smelled of alcohol but the scent of her blood overpowered it. I decided that she would be my first human meal. I was too eager to keep searching. I needed the hot sensation of her luscious blood trickling down my throat. Oh jeez…I felt myself get harder at that thought. I don’t know why but bloodlust equaled a strong desire for sex.
“Do you wanna dance?” she asked shyly.
“Sure hun, why not?” I cooed.
We were on the dance floor dancing. She turned her back to me and started grinding her ass against my erection. I felt overcome by lust. I NEEDED her blood. Sex would be an extra bonus. She grabbed my hand while I let her drag me outside of the night club.
“I like you and apparently you like me…I can tell by that big problem you got down there,” she giggled like a little school girl.
“If you want to have some fun then I’m your man,” I purred into her ear.
Little did she know that her fun would end tonight as soon as I fucked her thoroughly or my bloodlust would overcome me. I guess whatever happened first.
“I only live a block away, if you wanna go to my place?” she asked with a seductive smile playing on her lips.
As we entered her crappy, run down apartment she led me to her bedroom. I wondered if she did this with all the men she met at the night club? What a fucking slut. Well, she better enjoy it tonight since it will be her last. She wasted no time at all taking her clothes off. Not that you could say she was hardly wearing any. She was wearing a tube top that exposed her pierced belly button with a super short mini skirt; as she walked it showed her rounded ass.
“Come here handsome,” she said while seductively beckoning me with her finger to come lay down next to her, now only wearing her black lace panties and bra.
She didn’t have to ask me twice. I was almost feeling impatient. I wanted to start fucking her so I could drain that little slut dry. I wanted to feel that sweet blood sloshing in my mouth. I wanted to feel that red, sweet liquid making its way into my body. I wanted it to course through my dead body and resurrect me with new life….the new me…a true vampire. A human-draining predator.
“Drain her…suck the little bitch dry….take what belongs to you…drink her life force…be the vampire you always were meant to be,” the voice chanted in my head.
I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to act now before the bloodlust completely took over before I had my fun. I licked my lips hungrily, imagining her hot blood smeared all over my icy lips. I decided to make my first move.
I pushed her down gently so she was lying completely on her back. I nudged her legs apart with my knee while I towered over her. She shivered as I placed my cold lips on her pulse point on her neck and started sucking lightly. I purred in response, feeling the throbbing of her pulse under my lips.
“Oh handsome! That feels so fucking good,” she said with lust laced in her voice.
“You like that hun?” I asked huskily.
I started to suck harder on her neck. I nipped her pulse point with my teeth gently, not wanting to draw blood…not just yet. I started licking her with my icy tongue, swallowing back my venom. I could almost taste her blood through that translucent, smooth skin of hers. Fuck she tasted good. And I didn’t even fucking bite this slut yet.
I moved my tongue over her left breast while I tugged on her nipple playfully with my razor sharp, venom-coated teeth. Her nipple hardened instantly under my touch. I moved my hand over her hot center and started to play with her clit. She moaned in pleasure and arched her back while I went back to sucking, licking, and nipping her pulse points all over her heated body.
In that instant, my bloodlust increased to a painful degree. It was almost unbearable, the back of my throat was on fire. If I was going to have my fun, I needed to take her now. I positioned myself at her hot, wet center and thrust into her. She screamed in pain and pleasure. I didn’t want to be gentle. She would be dead soon enough anyway.
“Oh yes handsome like that….fuck yes…oh fuck me,” she screamed while meeting me with my thrusts.
Shit! She was one crazy bitch! I was thrusting in and out so hard I thought for sure I would break her. I felt her walls tighten around my cock. She was about to release when I couldn’t take it anymore and sunk my teeth into her neck. A scream of agony filled her tiny bedroom. I continued thrusting in and out of her.
I quickly placed my hand over her mouth while I continued to suck and fuck her. Fuck this was heaven, even if I would never be allowed to walk through those pearly white gates. But hey, this was my own personal slice of heaven right fucking here.
She wasn’t screaming anymore. Her screams were just gurgled sobs while tears rolled down her now paling cheeks. I was close to my release. I could feel my balls tighten. She was almost unconscious at this point so I quickly snapped her neck and finished sucking her dry. Before the last drop of blood was sucked out of her lifeless body, I released inside of her.
“FUUUUUCCK!” I yelled.
I felt alive! I truly felt like my heart started to beat again in my chest after three centuries of being dormant. It was as if her life force created life inside of me. This never happened when I drank from animals. Is this what it felt like to be a real vampire? I couldn’t deny my true nature anymore. This is what we were meant to be, otherwise human blood wouldn’t have such a powerful effect on a vampire. And I must say, ‘playing with your food,’ had definitely lived up to its meaning.
After I buried her drained corpse deep in the surrounding woods, I decided to head back to my car. Although I could probably drain a few more sluts, I decided against it. Why have all the fun in one night, right? I wanted a chase next time. I wanted my victim to run, making the game more arousing to my senses. I loved the hunt, to smell the fear roll off of my prey. I lived for the hunt more now than ever before! Vampires surrendered themselves to their senses, our animal instincts would kick in automatically in pursuit of prey. I realized that my favorite scent during my little dinner, if you want to call it that, was the scent of strawberries. This luscious scent made the blood taste ever so sweet. Not even my first drop of human blood tasted as sweet as the blood that had a scent of strawberries. I was drawn to this mouthwatering scent like a moth was drawn to light. Just thinking about it made my venom pool in my mouth. I gulped it back.
“Fuck,” I growled aloud when I saw my reflection in the mirror.
My once golden colored eyes were replaced with a menacing burgundy color which stared back at me from the rearview mirror. That was the only downfall to drinking humans. The eyes. I knew that I had to talk to my family about what happened tonight. It wasn’t a secret I could keep for long. Eventually, Alice would slip to keep Edward out of her mind and then BAM, the dark secret would get out. Shit! My eyes would only speed up that process. I needed a few days to tell them what happened. I desperately needed to think. Maybe they would accept me for what I’ve become…. a true vampire? But if they decided to cry like little bitches about it…..well fuck them all! My monster rejoiced within. Remember that blood…all that delicious blood!!!
As I drove back to my house, I was prepared to face the wrath of my family. I mused about how I could stay in Forks. Would I want to stay? I could always get contact lenses. I couldn’t hunt near Forks or in Forks for that matter. I couldn’t work as a doctor anymore. I wouldn’t be stupid enough to risk exposure. There was no reason to get the Volturi involved. They would probably welcome me back with open arms. I didn’t want to be controlled. I wanted to feed when I was fucking thirsty and not obey the three little bitches sitting on their asses bullying other vampires around. There was no choice, we had to leave…or I for that matter. Blood. It’s worth it I told myself. I felt alive and I damn sure didn’t want to feel dead again. I made up my mind. I had to leave Forks and soon, with or without my family. I was brought out of my musings when my cell rang.
“Hello,” I growled slightly.
“Carlisle I saw what happened…I saw everything, we need to get you some help…maybe we can…”
“NO FUCKING way Alice,” I interrupted her by a menacing growl.
“Carlisle you NEED help. If you choose to go to Denali you will get better. PLEASE Carlisle listen to me,” she dry sobbed into the phone.
“No I will do no such thing. I DO NOT want to go back to my former self. I don’t want to feel dead, DAMMIT! I want to feel alive,” I seethed.
“Carlisle just please talk to us before you make a rash decision. I haven’t told the others yet about what happened tonight. It’s your story to tell Carlisle but I want to let you know that we will be there for you,” she sniffed.
“Fine Alice, I will be there in about half an hour. Just give me some time to clean up and then we’ll talk,” I replied without emotion.
“Okay Carlisle, but we won’t be home for another hour or so. We went out to hunt. Edward is at Bella’s still and he hasn’t made the decision to leave yet. We need the whole family present, we will show our support,” Alice said. “And Carlisle,” she added. “You will get through this if you make the effort,” she dry sobbed again.
I crushed the phone with my hand. Couldn’t she tell that I didn’t want to make the effort? Did she really believe that a small part of my former self remained inside of me somewhere? Did she see me going to Denali to become a ‘vegetarian’ vampire again? She must have. NO! NO! No way, what am I saying? I love this new me, the power, the fear in my prey….the screams and the blood! Blood, blood and more blood Carlisle!!!
As I got out of my car, I was hit with the sweetest smell I had yet to smell. My nostrils flared. A floral smell assaulted my nose. I followed the sweet smelling scent that lingered in the garage into my house.
“Mmmm,” I growled while licking the venom that leaked out from the corner of my mouth with my icy tongue.
The scent was mouthwatering. Freesias and ….strawberries! I love fucking strawberries! I felt my eyes blacken instantly from the bloodlust. I felt a nagging in the back of my mind, like something was telling me that I was forbidden to have this prey, the forbidden fruit.
“But forbidden fruit is so much sweeter Carlisle,” the monster roared within.
I made my way inside the house to be completely overcome by the mouthwatering scent. I could hear a heartbeat. Fuck Bella! What the hell? What the hell was she doing here? I heard a chuckle from Edward and a gasp of breath from Bella. They were making out in his room. He wasn’t supposed to be here, not yet anyway. Why didn’t Alice…..I stopped myself, of course my fucking cell was destroyed by who else, yours truly. I snapped up my head to see Edward standing in front of me, with Bella behind him protectively.
“Carlisle your eyes…,” he stated shocked.
Edward pulled Bella completely behind his large frame, shielding her from my view. He was crouched slightly, awaiting an attack. I snarled menacingly at him. How dare he try to hide her from me. Bella or not, she smelled fucking delicious! My venom was seeping uncontrollably from the corners of my mouth. I could smell Bella’s fear. Her fear made her smell 100 times more appealing. Her pulse was pounding crazily in my oversensitive ears. I had to have her….my forbidden fruit.
“MINE!” the monster growled possessively in my mind.
“LEAVE Carlisle! Get the fuck out of here while you can,” Edward roared menacingly.
I guess it would be too late to tell him I would consider sharing Bella? Hell, I know she wouldn’t be considered a meal but she would make one fucking tasty snack. At my last thought, Edward lunged at me, sending us crashing through the glass windows. I got up into a crouch and slammed right into him, knocking us into a large tree. The tree had completely snapped in half due to the impact. The sound of thunder clapped in the atmosphere as our bodies collided in mid air. We both landed on our feet, staring each other down with our razor sharp, venom-coated teeth barred. We were waiting to see who would make the first move. Edward suddenly grabbed me by my shirt and flung me through the air while he let out a furious roar. I landed on my feet like a cat and began to lunge forward again. Our menacing growls vibrated throughout the forest. The surrounding wildlife had disappeared into the night. No animal wanted to be caught in the crossfire of the most dangerous predators that walked this planet. We were snarling and snapping at each other. I sunk my teeth into Edward’s shoulder tearing out a large chunk. He screamed in agony.
“Edward, get the fuck away from me and let me take what belongs to me,” I growled.
“NEVER,” he snarled back. “You’re going to have to tear me apart, you’ll never have Bella,” he added venomously.
We were circling each other now. Venom dripped from our mouths. Our faces contorted into furious sneers. Predator versus predator. I would have never thought I would be here fighting another vampire for my prey. The venom was stinging painfully from where Edward had sunken his teeth into my neck. Fuck that would leave a mark!
Before I could lunge, two strong arms held me back. Emmett. Fuck he was strong. I started to feel myself calm down. Jasper of course was standing next to me, glaring at me whilst he had his hand on my shoulder. He was using all his empathic ability to calm me.
“NOOO,” I roared completely livid. I wanted Bella. I didn’t want to calm down. I longed for her sweet blood.
“CARLISLE,” yelled a beautiful yet familiar voice. I knew this voice. Esme. She was dry sobbing.
What had I done? The need to feel alive was a powerful and addictive feeling however, when I looked at my true love, my soul mate…I felt a small part of my former self emerge. She looked so sad and heartbroken. I felt pain in my heart. All of a sudden it felt like my former self that was long forgotten, was slowly overpowering the monster that lived inside of me. The caring and loving Carlisle was emerging from the dark pit of hell, slowly crawling his way back up to claim my mind. NOO! the monster roared! You need blood. Think of the sweet, sweet blood. You can feel alive. You can feel powerful like the true predator that you were meant to be. I shut my eyes and fell to the soggy ground. I started to dry sob.
“What have I done?” I asked myself.
“I love you Carlisle, please come back to me,” Esme dry sobbed into her hands.
She sat next to me and wrapped her arms around me. We held each other for what seemed like hours. My whole family was there just staring at Esme and I. I didn’t need to be an empath to feel the love coming from them, especially from my Esme. Her love was unconditional. She was my soul mate, my other half. Could she be the one to help me keep the monster at bay?
“We need to have that talk now Carlisle,” Alice demanded as she walked ever so slowly for a vampire to crouch in front of me. I nodded and stood, pulling up my beloved along with me.
We all walked into the house, and everyone took there respective seats at the oval dining room table. I knew I had to tell my story. Maybe there was still hope for me after all? Jasper kept sending waves of calm towards me.
“Thank you Jasper,” I said. “And Bella, I need to apologize for attacking you,” I added sorrowfully.
“I accept your apology, but Carlisle you are a vampire after all,” she replied with a minor uneven voice.
“That I am,” I responded while Edward glared at me. “Please let me tell you what happened from the beginning,” I pleaded to everyone.
As I started to tell my tale, I heard two faint voices arguing inside my head.
“Carlisle make the effort to change back, you have a family who loves you,” a familiar and almost forgotten voice pleaded inside my head. I had to consider going to Denali…I needed help. I needed to destroy the monster once and for all.
“Carlisle…once you freed me, the cage will never be locked again. I will be waiting for the opportunity to pounce when you least expect it. I will always be there, hiding in your mind. I know what you truly want. Human blood…. even just one drop,” the monster snarled in my mind.
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