I'm So Thrilled For You!
Congratulations, Steph! I'm so happy for you that this is up and running. I wish you all the success in the world with it... the site and the story. ;)
Your Bella seems a bit more together than others I’ve read. I especially liked this part - I wasn’t as freaked out that he would leave me, and maybe that was because he did leave me, and I knew I could survive.
As for your Edward, I am relatively sure that I have never read another Edward say this – “I’m sorry, love,” he said. “Please don’t feel rejected.” - Edward never usually explains himself properly when he pulls away from Bella. I like that about your Edward. He seems to take her feelings into account more & speaks to her as more of an equal. I also liked how worried he was for Alice & Jasper. And I loved how he told Jasper that Bella had never blamed him for what happened. Don’t think I’ve ever read that either. And the way he told Jasper to that they want him to stay… LOVED IT! I like this Edward A LOT! But that doesn’t mean I don’t want Jasper to end up with Bella in the end! Just thought I should clear that up. :) I’m looking forward to see what you have planned for Edward.
Great job getting Alice out of the picture! But now I’m so curious about what her visions are. I can only imagine the drama you’ve got in store for us. Can’t wait!
Needless to say, I loved reading Jasper say this - “She loves me,” he said. “Just as I love her, but with Alice, there was never any real spark. She knows that. We look after one another, and we share so much history. We’re complacent, but neither one of us will admit it to the other. The only difference is that I can feel it, and she can’t.” - So if there’s no spark with Alice, eventually he’ll find it with Bella, yes? :)
Poor Jasper! I felt so bad for him when Alice was leaving, especially when he kept saying he won’t wait. I was so glad when the family insisted that he stay with them. I loved what Carlisle & Esme said - “Edward is right,” Carlisle said. “You are just as much apart of this family as my other children, and I won’t allow you to leave us. When Alice comes back, we will find a way for this to work.” “Please, Jasper,” Esme said. “I’d be heartbroken if you were to leave.” - So nice for him to hear that.
That was an absolutely awesome first chapter, Steph. I thoroughly enjoyed it! I’m really looking forward to being on this next journey with you. Can’t wait to see where you’re taking us.
Hey, I can leave a picture! Cool! :D