Conflicted Soldier

Disclaimer: All recognized Twilight characters, settings, themes, etc are property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rating: MA

Story Summary: A one-shot. Jasper is still part of Maria's army and he hasn’t met any of the Cullen’s. He's forced to change a young girl (Bella) into a vampire because of her unique ability to block vampire powers. Maria feels she will be the perfect addition to her army. At first, Jasper and Bella despise each other. Jasper is angry that Bella is causing his usual control over his emotions to falter. Bella is angry because he killed her, and turned her into a vampire. Despite these negative feelings, both of them also feel a connection towards each other. They feel comfortable in each other’s presence and lust for each other’s bodies, but fight those feelings because of their anger. Together they are tortured souls, each for different reasons. But what will come of these intense emotions in the end? AU/OOC.Beta: Project Team Beta

~ Jasper’s POV ~

I’m a walking zombie. Well, technically I’m a vampire, but I have closed off my emotions in an attempt to escape the reality that is my life. I’m a robot, built to take orders and complete them as efficiently as possible. I have the ability to feel what others feel, but I rarely use that power anymore, only when it’s required of me. I don’t want to feel their pain as I take their life or alter them into a being that is damned from the second their body starts to burn. What a fucking miserable existence!

Here I am running through the streets and alleyways on another mission for Maria, looking for one human in particular. This one is supposed to be different from others before her. Apparently, she already has the ability to mentally block vampires from using their powers on her. Maria thinks she will be the perfect addition to her army, and has insisted that I be the one to change her. What’s the fucking point?! I’ll just be ordered to kill her as soon as Maria has had her fill of her.

I am letting the predator in me lead the way; follow my senses, seeking out the one who smells of strawberries and freesia. There is no other smell like her, and I know I will find her soon enough. Peter and Charlotte have been ordered to follow me from a distance, and can only step in to help if needed. Our movements are silent to human ears; we blur from street to street stealthily, among those who are completely unaware of our existence. Suddenly, her scent slams into me and I stop dead in my tracks. That is too fucking easy.

I may not agree with what I’m about to do, but I can’t deny the part of me that’s eager to taste her unique, floral, and sweet blood. The venom is already gathering in my mouth and I’m forced to swallow, hard. Peter and Charlotte keep their distance, but are close enough in case I can’t stop draining her. My enhanced vision allows me to pinpoint her direct location. She’s sitting on a bench in the park across the street. Stupid human, she unknowingly chose the darkest bench to inhabit, and I intend to take full advantage of that.

I dash across the street, moving in her direction at a pace that is unnoticed by any human. I’m forced to open up to my ability, as I will need it to make sure this particular task is done without mistakes. As soon as I open myself up to her a huge wave of sorrow slams into me, causing me to falter in my steps. I ghost behind a nearby tree, glancing at her from the side, hoping she didn’t notice my failed attempt to attack her.

She must be too distracted by her intense emotions to know I was here. Her feelings are so powerful and seem to draw my own feelings of sorrow out. I fall to my knees and begin to visibly shake from the intensity of it all. I hone in on her emotions, and attempt to find one to focus on that will help motivate my imminent attack; I find none. It’s not just the sorrow I feel, but abandonment, longing, loss and desperation.

I know those feelings all too well. I mourn for my human life, and feel as if so much was lost to me. It was like God himself abandoned me and led me to this horrible damned existence. I feel compelled to comfort her, protect her. What the fuck! I never feel obliged to help anyone. What is wrong with me? I shook my head, hoping to gain the focus I needed to stay on track.

It was now or never. I attempt to block her emotions as I make my way towards her, but her emotions are still too powerful. I become angry, and hate her for making me so weak. I can always block emotions; no one has ever been able to affect my control so easily. How dare this puny human cross my path and make me feel inadequate!

I used my anger to push forward and took hold of her head and neck before she even sensed my presence. I was face to face with her, staring into her deep brown eyes. I could see straight into her tortured soul and was momentarily lost. Her previous emotions were pushed down, as her new emotions surfaced, irritation and fury at my sudden presence.

I use her irritation to pull myself from her gaze, tilting her head to the side, and lowered my lips to her neck. I lick up the side of it, tasting her sweetness.

The demon inside is screaming at me to drink her dry, but he will have to make due with simply tasting her; I have to complete my mission. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy every bit of this gorgeous, sinfully tempting woman. No one has ever tasted as sweet, and I haven’t even begun to drink from her.

She conveys shock and confusion, no doubt due to my unusual antics. Her body trembles beneath me, tempting the predator within to take what it wants most, her blood. Before she can put up a fight I pull her body flush up against mine and sink my teeth into her jugular, without hesitating. She whimpers, the fear now radiating from her. The demon inside me chuckles darkly, enjoying the panicking defenseless human. The venom pools furiously, and I forcefully swallowed it down, allowing myself to enjoy as much of her sweet, intoxicating blood as I can. God, this is heaven! Nothing has ever tasted sweeter or more satisfying.

Her scent envelops me completely and I find myself becoming painfully aroused. Her weak, fragile body is shaking with fright and growing weaker as I continue to feed off her life source. The demon wants nothing more than take this helpless, beautiful woman up against a tree and pound into her hot core as I feed off her. No. I can’t. I will not allow it! I need to finish the fucking mission before this gets anymore difficult.

I push my venom into her and lick the wound to seal it shut, then move to her wrists. The skin there is softer than I have ever felt. Without thinking I kiss the flesh of her wrist before sinking my teeth in, then did the same to the other. She releases a soft moan, and I can feel a bit of lust from her; I quickly realize my own sinful feelings are impacting hers, which also means she is not resistant to all abilities. I focus on keeping the lust to myself, but file away the information for later; Maria will need to know the potential risks this may cause.

I was becoming more and more aroused and felt my erection straining painfully against my jeans. I lay her body down across the bench to gain better access to her ankles. I lift the pant leg of her jeans, and expose even more gloriously soft, succulent skin. My mouth waters, but not for her blood, for her body. I lick her skin and blow my cool breath across the dampened area, causing her to emit another soft moan. Damn my fucking ability! I must be responsible, because how could she possibly be getting off on this? I can smell her arousal, it is musky and sweet, causing me to let loose and low, possessive growl. God, I need to make her mine! I bite into her ankle quickly, then lower it gently and do the same to the other side.

I have to get her out of here before the screaming and burning starts.

I scoop her up bridal style and take off in the direction of the secluded warehouse where we bring those who are changing. It is far from prying eyes and ears, and allows us the privacy we need, yet is close to our camp. I can feel the familiar burning sensation take over her body and send her such a huge wave of calm and lethargy that she falls asleep in my arms immediately. I continue running down the dark and narrow alleyways, making sure to avoid the public eye.

Peter and Charlotte meet me at the entrance to the warehouse and follow me inside. I carry my victim to the mattress on the floor in the corner and lay her down in my lap, cradling her head against my chest. I am determined to help her through this. I can’t understand why exactly, but I need to protect her. Peter moves a step closer to us and I growl at him, letting him know to back off. She is mine! He puts his hands up in surrender and slowly backs away.


I hold onto her for three days while she burns, moans, screams and tears at the mattress viscously. I am beginning to feel drained from all the calm I’m forcing on her; I will need to hunt soon. Peter and Charlotte continue to keep their distance, but offer to take my place so that I can hunt if I need to. I am not leaving her side. I did this to her. But why is she different? I have never felt this connection before and it angers me that she has such unintentional control that I behave against my own wishes. I want to hate her for bringing out this side of me, but I can’t. Instead I stew in my anger until I realize it’s leaking out of me and into her. She growls furiously, clawing at me, tearing up pieces of my shirt. I am still angry, but I can’t allow myself to focus on it if I want to help her through this. Fuck! Why am I so conflicted?!

Her body has already begun changing. Her skin was hardened and paler than before. Her limbs have lengthened a few inches and her soft, subtle curves are now toned with lean muscles; complimenting her frame perfectly. Her hips have widened a bit, and her chest and ass are fuller and more supple than before. Her mahogany hair lays in silky curls down the middle of her back. Her facial features are more defined, her lips fuller and redder than before. She is absolutely breathtaking; the most beautiful creature, no one will ever compare. Her heat beat is frantic, and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before it stops completely.

Only moments later her heart becomes still as she lays in my arms motionless. I stare at her, willing her to open her eyes. She draws in an unnecessary deep breath and her eyelids begin to flutter. I hold my breath, waiting for her magnificent eyes to look up into mine. Finally, she opens them and scans the room before her. I wait patiently, allowing her to fully absorb her environment.

Once she finishes her observation she looks up into my eyes with wonder. I feel a spark between us as I gaze into her captivating ruby colored eyes. I can tell she is confused and concerned by the sight before her. It must be my scars, I think to myself. Then her emotions change, she feels awe, at first, then lust and desire. I know I am feeling the same, and wonder if I have once again inadvertently pushed my lustful feelings onto her. It doesn’t seem as if I have and I find this fascinating. Can she feel the draw to me that I do to her? And if so, why do we feel this? What could it possibly mean?

I smile down at her, and she begins to smile back, but stops abruptly. Her emotions intensify and she glares at me furiously; I can feel the anger and hate radiate off her. I know newborns can’t control their moods and often feel several emotions at once, but this is ridiculous! I need to know if she feels the same connection as I, but have no time to ponder or even ask.

She rips herself out of my arms and crouches down in front of me, doing so more gracefully than any newborn should be able to. She is in full attack mode and it turns me on. I smirk at her because I can still feel her lust for me, just under the surface of her anger. So there is something, there has to be.

“YOU!” she screams and lunges at me.

I am ready for her attack, as are Peter and Charlotte. The second my back hits the wall I maneuver out of her grasp, while they grab onto her arms and secure her. She is fighting them viciously trying to get to me. I laugh at her attempt, and only anger her more.

“What did you do to me?! Why do I feel so fucking different?!” She directs her furious eyes at me and waits for my response.

“Now, now, darlin’. Calm down, and I’ll tell you. There’s no need to get so worked up.” I fold my arms across my chest and grin mischievously at her.

“Don’t call me darlin’, you asshole! Answer my fucking question!” Damn, she’s a feisty little one. Maria will like that.

“I will, but you need to start learning how to control yourself, darlin’,” I take a step towards her.

“I said don’t call me darlin’!” She was desperately trying to break free and venom was starting to trickle down her chin as she yelled at me.

“Then what should I call you?”

“Bella, my name is Bella.” Bella? Beautiful. How fitting.

“Well, Bella…I’m Jasper, and that is Peter and Charlotte,” I said in my most soothing voice. I need her to gain enough control to listen to my explanation. “We need you to calm down, so that I can fill you in on your current situation. It’s best if we get through this part quickly because your thirst is going to take over soon and you won’t be able to understand me very well when that happens.”

I can feel her emotions settle as she calms herself, and I am impressed. Emotional control usually takes more time and effort for newborns to manage. Another point to bring up with Maria. I also notice her thirst is barely registering; most newborns would be consumed by it by now. She is unique indeed.

It took me all of ten minutes to explain to her that she had been recruited into a vampire army, led by Maria, because of her unique ability to block powers. I elaborated, but told her we wouldn’t know the full extent of her powers until she had a few days to adapt to her new mind and body. I also told her the same lie I was forced into telling all the newborns, they would be let free if they followed a few simple orders and completed their tasks well enough to satisfy Maria.

I am waiting for the usual fight that most newborns give. She seems to accept this life altering information rather well, almost as if she feels she deserves this damned life or should have known all along. I can’t imagine what would cause her to feel like this. As I think back to her initial feelings of sorrow, abandonment, longing, loss and desperation I realize something tragic must have happened to her. Questioning her now would not be in the best of interests. I will have to wait until it is more accepting of such inquiries of her personal life.

She has relaxed enough so that Peter and Charlotte are able to let go of her. I can tell she has questions, but for some reason she never voices them all.

“So this burning I feel in the back of my throat…it means I’m thirsty?”


“And are you second in command to this…Maria?”

“Yes. Can I ask you something?” I say hesitantly, not sure if she is ready or even willing to comply with my requests.

She nods.

“Why aren’t you surprised that vampires exist? Your reactions are not normal.”She glares at me in defiance and clenches her fists at her sides. There it is; the anger is creeping back in. I smirk at her, and stride slowly towards her, hoping she will let me close enough to reach out and touch her. I know I have to be cautious. I stop when I am only a foot from her and reach out to stroke her cheek lightly. She shivers in delight and I can tell she is trying hard to fight the lust she feels.

“Why aren’t you scared?” I whispered.

“B-because…I somehow knew…that there were supernatural forces around us,” she said cautiously, “n-not vampires exactly…but…” she stuttered out, struggling against her feelings.

“Hmm. Interesting. And why aren’t you trying to escape us? Most newborns make many attempts before I finally have to use my ability to make them see reason.”

“I don’t know. I guess…for some reason…I trust you,” she said, doubting her own emotions.

She trusts me? What the fuck?! You don’t just go around trusting and lusting after the person who kills you and turns you into a soulless monster!

“I know. I don’t understand it either, but I’ve learned to trust my instincts,” she said somehow knowing what was going through my head. Her thirst suddenly spikes and I realize I need to take her hunting before it gets any worse.

“Come, Bella. I need to teach you how to hunt,” I say as I hold my hand out to her. I don’t know why I do. What is happening to me? I need to figure out why she holds such control over my emotions. I want to be alone with her, to be able to decipher these odd, mixed feelings. I tell Peter and Charlotte to go back to the camp and inform Maria that Bella is now a vampire and that I will bring her back to camp as soon as I take her hunting. They leave without argument, as I lead Bella further into the outskirts of town.

She follows so closely; it takes me off guard. Her scent is even more appealing now, causing my arousal to spring forth. I find myself imagining her mid hunt, blood dripping down her chin and neck, clothes torn from the struggle, and pure lust in her eyes. Oh, the things I would do to her amazing body.

I am snapped out of my daydream, as I smell a human approaching. I can tell he is alone. Perfect. I am about to begin reviewing the most important part of my instructions of the proper way to hunt, but am cut off as she speeds past me. Fuck! This is not going to be good. I have to get to her before she begins tearing mercilessly into the flesh of her victim. I am livid.

I turn myself over to my ability and realize she is in complete control. What the fuck?! This woman is astounding. No newborn has ever been so controlled. I stop myself and hide behind a tree and I watch her stalk her prey. She approaches him with such caution. When he finally glances up at her, he doesn’t feel scared at all. She dazzled him.

He is frozen in place as she begins to seduce him, tracing patterns on his chest with her fingers as she talks him into tilting his head to the side, exposing more of his neck to her. How the fuck? Not even an hour as a vampire and already she has the hunt down? How is this possible? Maria is going to have a fucking field day with all this fucking unexpected shit.

I am mesmerized by the temptress before me. Before I can even comprehend what is happening she lowers her head and bites down into his jugular. I watch as the man’s eyes cloud over as she drinks him rapidly. She is sucking down his blood as if this were her last meal, and I can’t help but think about what her lips would feel like if she were sucking me that hard. My cock twitches just imagining it. God, I want her.

His body slumps to the ground as she releases him, and she spins around to look at me.

Oh. My. Fucking. God. My daydream is a reality. Her eyes are a piercing red and her breathing is staggered and uneven. She ogles every inch of my body, and licks some of the blood away from her lips; the lust pouring off of her. I need no more of an invitation than that. I lunge forward, slamming her body into a nearby tree, pressing the full length of my body against hers and look deeply into her captivating eyes. The lust is increasing in both of us significantly and I waste no time in crushing my lips down onto hers. Fucking delicious. I can taste his blood all over her, mixed with her own intoxicating sweetness and almost come undone.

I thrust my tongue into her mouth, and explore it forcefully. She moans into it, and then growls ferociously, quickly turning me around and slamming my back up against the tree. She is pissed that I have taken her with so much force, but I can feel that she likes being dominated because her lust grows into longing and need. She wastes no time tearing away my clothes, leaving them scattered on the ground around us. I do the same to her, and before I can do anymore she grabs a hold of my face and presses her lips onto mine painfully. This time she thrusts her tongue into my mouth, and we massage each other’s tongue, battling for dominance.

I know she is stronger than me, for now, but I need to take the upper hand. I grab onto her breasts, squeezing them vigorously. She whimpers from the pleasurable pain, and bucks her hips in response. I lean down and take one of her nipples into my mouth and circle it with my tongue before biting down aggressively. She growls deep within her chest, and I know she wants more.

Her arousal is so strong; it engulfs the air around me. I growl in response and quickly turn her body so that she is facing the tree with her back to me; a possessive nature clearly overtaking my need to be one with her.

I grab on to her hips and pull her against my body roughly. She reaches up and tangles her hand in my hair, pulling it with just enough force to hurt in the most delightful way. I shudder from the sensation and grind my cock into her lower back, letting her feel how much I want and need her. She groans in frustration, clearly impatient with me for not moving things along faster. So I reach around and slide my fingers into her wet folds, causing her hips to buck forward.

“Fuck, Bella. You’re so wet for me already, darlin’.”

“Don’t fucking call me darlin’!” she yelled. “And fuck me already, Jasper!”

I don’t hesitate. I thrust forward, filling her pussy completely. Her body lunges forward from the force, but I keep a hard grip on her hips to prevent her from going anywhere until I am done with her. Her hands reach out to brace herself, and the tree cracks from the pressure and force. She spreads her legs wider for me, allowing me to go even deeper. I am running off pure animal instinct, and I have never felt better or more euphoric. Her tight, wet pussy is gripping my cock in the most delicious way. I never want to stop. I continue to slam into her, grabbing her breasts roughly with one hand, while keeping my other hand on her hip.

She slams back into me, and the force and friction we create is absolutely fucking sinful. Mine! I never want to fuck another woman again. No one could ever feel as incredible as she does. Her growls are even louder than mine, and I can tell she is close to cuming. I am too.

”Fuck, Jasper… Oh, God!”

I reach around and use my thumb and forefinger to pinch her clit, her body stiffens and her walls clamp down around me, milking my cock aggressively.

“God, Bella…Fuck!” I roar as my head involuntarily thrashes around as my orgasm approaches.

“Jasper!” she screams my name in ecstasy.

The deep guttural growls we release fill the silence around us. Her tight, contracting pussy milks my fluids out of me, and our bodies shake as we come down from our intense orgasms.

I have never experienced anything so blissful, ever. And based on the feelings I am getting from Bella, neither has she.

“Damn it, Jasper,” she says breathlessly. “That was fucking amazing. I’ve never…”

“I know, I can feel it, baby. Me too.”

I don’t want to pull out of her. She isn’t moving either, so I hold on to her tightly as I sit down and position us so that my back is leaning up against the tree, with her in my lap. We are still connected and she feels very content and comforted.

She leans her head back on my shoulder and gazes up at me with lust and longing in her eyes. God, this woman is fucking beautiful.

I need to know why we feel such an intense connection after only meeting a few days ago, especially under the horrific circumstances of which I took her life. But now is not the time because my dick seems to have a mind of its own.

I want to make her cum again and again, in as many different ways as I possibly can. My cock twitches inside her, already hard and ready for more. I feel the walls of her pussy constrict around me, as her lust heightens.

“Ready for round two so soon, Jasper?” she smiles seductively.

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