You'll Be Mine Chapter 10 - Slowly Returning
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After soaking in the tub for what felt like hours, I finally pulled the plug and climbed out. I stepped over the edge of the tub and wrapped the towel around my body. I quickly dried off and walked to the sink to brush my teeth.
Once I finished with my teeth, I brushed my hair. As I was about to turn to walk out of the bathroom, I noticed bruises all over my side. I gasped and spun back to face the mirror. Where on earth did those come from?
I looked down and noticed that my abdomen was covered in bruises as well along with my other side. What the fuck did I do to myself? I turned and looked in the mirror so I could see my back and sure enough I had a few bruises there as well.
I continued to look at my body and when I noticed the hand print that was on my inner right thigh, I realized that Jasper gave me these bruises. He must have felt terrible. That was probably why he felt the need to take care of me.
Well I was just going to have to reassure him that I didn’t mind these bruises especially if we could continue to do what we did last night and this morning. I got dressed in a pair of very short shorts that were completely covered when I slipped my t-shirt on.
Well it wasn’t my t-shirt, it was Jasper’s and he was the one who picked out my clothes so he knew what I was going to be wearing. I made my way to the stairs and as I was about to take my first step, he was standing right in front of me.
He picked me up and carried me down the stairs and into the kitchen where he sat me at the bar. “How are you, Bella? I’m so sorry about the bruises. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t know what came over me. Can you ever forgive me?”
I placed my hand over his mouth to stop him because he looked like he wasn’t finished. “Jasper, I’m fine. Please don’t worry about these bruises. They look much worse than they really are. And you have no reason to apologize.”
He pushed my hand away, “Have you looked at what I did to you?”
I grabbed his hands and pulled him closer to me. We were only inches apart from one another. “I want you to listen to me. I don’t blame you and I don’t want you to feel bad. You can feel what I am feeling, so you know that I’m not lying. So please stop beating yourself up over this.”
He placed his lips to my forehead and I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling of having his lips on me yet again. My desire and lust for him increased and I heard and felt his answering growl rumbling in his chest.
He pulled back and looked at me. I smiled and reached up and began unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt. He grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes. “Darlin, don’t you think you should take a break and eat something?”
I stood up and captured his lips in a heated kiss. When I pulled back his eyes had darkened to black and I knew that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I began unbuttoning his shirt again and this time he didn’t stop me.
I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. He reached forward and pulled my shirt over my head. He groaned when he saw that I wasn’t wearing a bra, “Mmm, my little sex kitten.”
He crushed his lips to mine and licked and nibbled my bottom lip. I allowed him entrance to my mouth and he kissed me hungrily. I reached for the button on his pants and quickly had them undone and pushed down along with his boxers.
His hardened cock sprung free and slapped against my stomach. Before I even realized what was happening, he ripped my shorts from my body and gasped. I wasn’t wearing any panties either.
“Fuck, Bella. You are a vixen and a very sexy one at that.” I licked my lips and he picked me up and placed me on the bar. He pushed my legs apart and dove in. He didn’t take his time or anything he just went straight for my pussy.
My back arched and I cried out at the suddenness of his actions. He pushed a finger into my core and I craved more. I was still sore, but all I cared about in this moment was feeling him inside me.
“Jasper, please. I want to feel you inside me now.” He pulled back and looked at me for a moment before pulling me closer to the edge. He positioned himself at my entrance and pushed forward slowly until he was fully sheathed in my warmth.
“Oh, Bella. You’re so warm and tight. I will never get enough of you.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He held me in his arms and he thrust into me slowly.
He kept up with the slow pace the entire time that we made love in the kitchen. The way it felt being intimate with him this time was so different then the other times. I didn’t know if it was because he was afraid of putting more bruises on me or if it was because he loved me, but either way this was a whole new experience and I couldn’t wait to share this with him again.
I could feel my orgasm fast approaching. He pulled me into his arms and spun us around and sat down in the chair. I began riding him while he held me in his lap.
He pulled me impossibly close and we screamed out each other’s names with our climaxes. He held me in his arms and placed soft open mouthed kisses along my neck and jaw. I could stay in his arms forever.
Did I really just think that? What about Edward? What was I going to do? I quickly stopped my thought process because I didn’t want to alarm Jasper with my emotions. I would deal with everything later, when the time was right or when my fiancé came home, whichever came first.
After our kitchen sex, Bella had lunch and then I told her to go take a nap. I knew I had exhausted her and she was tired. I needed to think about what it was that I was doing.
Edward? What the fuck did you go to Texas for? Now Bella was going to have to deal with the both of us and she could only save one of us. I wanted her and now that I knew she loved me too, I wasn’t going down without a fight. He had to stay in Texas with Peter and give me the time that I needed with her. I felt better when she was close; not as crazy as I usually felt. Yes, I was still erratic and out of control but she seemed to be helping me come back. I wanted to let her bring me back.
Carlisle would have to help Edward because Bella was mine. I dreaded calling him because I was a complete fuck job when he was leaving the other day. He was so mad at me when I spoke about Bella that way, but I also felt his hurt and despair over the way I had changed. Shit! If he was distraught over what had happened to me I could only imagine what he would feel when I told him that Edward had moved over to join me in the dark side.
I figured I had better get this over with. He answered on the first ring.
“Jasper?” he sounded worried.
“Relax Carlisle, I haven’t drained anyone lately.” I couldn’t help myself.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“I’m still not myself but I think I might know why.”
“Please, enlighten me.” He must have thought I was calling to bust his balls and I could tell he was still upset with me from our earlier conversation.
“You know how Edward went to Texas?”
“Yes, have you heard from him?” he asked. “He was supposed to check in with me, but I never heard from him.”
“Yea, well there is a good reason for that,” I took a deep, unnecessary breath and slowly let it out. “Peter called and it seems that Edward had taken rather well to hunting in Texas.”
“He hasn’t called me because he is hunting? And what does Peter have to do with it?”
“Edward fell off the wagon, Carlisle. He’s hunting humans.”
“Jasper, I don’t have time for this nonsense. Have you done something to Edward?”
“Fuck Carlisle, I’m trying to tell you that the very thing he went to search out in my old stomping grounds must have sought him out first. Whatever happened to me there seems to have happened to him too. Peter said that he’s not the same and that he had to stop him from attacking a girl in town.”
Carlisle was quiet for a few seconds and I knew without even having to feel his emotions that he was stunned.
“Yes, I’m still here. Edward is hunting humans?”
Oh for fuck sake! “Yes, he is as dark as I am only he doesn’t know it yet. I didn’t figure it out until I came back here and started having feelings for Bella.”
“What kind of feelings for Bella? I told you to stay away from her.”
“I can’t, but that’s beside the point. Can you help me figure out what might have happened to us?”
“I’ve been researching what could alter a vampire in such a dark way, but so far I haven’t come up with much. A traumatic experience could do it, but neither of you seem like that has happened, I know you left the Cullen’s and Alice shortly before you turned and I thought that had something to do with it, but that doesn’t seem to be the case for Edward.”
“But we have a starting point now. We were both on our way to see Peter when we changed. I have no recollection of what I did for the first few days before finding him and I bet Edward doesn’t either. It’s hard to explain but it’s like the old Jasper is gone and I’ve been replaced with something evil. My thoughts are dark and desperate. I didn’t even realize that there was something wrong with me until I came back here and started getting close to Bella.”
“Bella is changing you?”
“I can feel a slow change. I still take things out on her and I hurt her I can feel that, but at least I realize that something isn’t right. I also think of her in ways that I know are totally inappropriate but I can’t seem to help myself. I’ve acted on these thoughts and she has let me.”
“I was afraid that was going to happen.”
“Carlisle the things I did in Texas were vile. Not only did I hunt women, but I used my power to manipulate them into having sex with me and then once I got what I had wanted I drained them; most of the time I wasn’t even thirsty. I didn’t have any remorse until I came back here and looked into her eyes. I feel what she feels and it’s not one sided.”
“You can also feel how she feels about your brother, too.”
“Yes,” I whispered. “Don’t you see that’s part of it? The old Jasper would have known to stay away from her. She belongs to Edward and I would have respected that if something wasn’t so fundamentally wrong with me.”
“But you didn’t respect that and now you know that she has feelings for you too.”
“I need her Carlisle. She’s the only thing that can save me and I want to be saved.”
He sighed, “I understand Jasper; truly I do. In my research I came across some things that could bring a vampire back from darkness. A lot of it is just theory but it’s all we have at the moment”
“What are they?”
“Well, we need to find the source of what has turned you and Edward in the first place. If I had that information I could answer more questions and narrow my research down.”
“I’ll put you in touch with Peter. I’m sure he can help. It’s his territory so he can probably look into things for us.”
“It could be a witch, warlock or demon that we are dealing with. Can you remember seeing or hearing anything before you turned?”
“No, but I felt like I blacked out. Will that help?”
“What is the one thing that could bring us back?”
“Finding and keeping the love of your existence,” he quietly said.
“Well then we seem to have a problem, don’t we?”
“Considering Bella probably doesn’t even know which one of you is the love of her existence, yes I’d say we have a huge problem.”
“If she wants to save Edward I’ll let her.” It would destroy me in the process but I wouldn’t force her to choose. I knew she loved me despite what I was and that was enough.
“Don’t influence her either way. If she seems to be keeping you sane let her. I’ll need you to help me figure this out and if Bella is beginning to bring you back than let her. Where is Edward now?”
“He’s staying in Texas. Peter is going to watch him for a few weeks.”
“That’s probably the best thing right now because he needs to get the initial stages of this out of his system. If we try to deny him what he wants right now he may only turn more violent and destructive. You had time to adjust before you came back to Forks.”
“Edward will be like a kid in a candy shop. He’ll hunt wherever and whenever he feels like it. He won’t be able to control that blood lust. It’s not like hunting to survive. His mind will take over and he’ll do it for the sheer thrill of it. Trust me, I know how demented his mind will become.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think that Bella will be safer with you for the time being. She graduates in a few weeks and then I’ll bring her to Alaska where I know she’ll be safe. Jasper can you handle being around her? If you were to hurt her, I…”
“Carlisle, I know I’m not completely stable, but she knows that too and yet, she continues to want to be around me. I won’t hurt her. I need her.”
“Fine, I’ll contact Peter and figure out where we should go from here. Take care of her Jasper.”
I flipped the phone shut. I wanted to take care of her, but I wasn’t fully sure that I could. I still had all of these dark and dominant thoughts. The way she responded to that dominant side drove me crazy. I knew she would let me do anything I wanted to her and that was just too tempting to pass up. I had to be honest with her.
I constantly gauged her emotions and what I felt wasn’t very encouraging. She felt awkward and unsure of me. Once while she was eating lunch I moved my hand too quickly and she jumped. Did she honestly think I would hit her? There were so many things I needed to tell her, but how? My mind constantly wandered to dark and disturbing thoughts but I tried to stay focused.
I didn’t know how long I stood there in the foyer but I was pulled out of my thoughts when she walked down the steps. She looked so sexy standing there in my shirt with that I just got fucked look. Stop it…focus. I extended my hand and led her to the family room.
“Bella, we need to talk,” I said as I pulled her into my lap. I stroked her hair and pressed my lips to her forehead. “I’m sure that you have figured out that there is something wrong with me.”
“You’re not yourself,” she said and she traced my cheekbone with her fingertips. “But you want to be.”
I closed my eyes and indulged in the warmth of her touch. “I don’t want you to ask me questions, but Carlisle seems to think that something may have happened to me in Texas. Something altered my personality.”
“We’re not sure but he is researching it.”
“And Edward is helping?”
“Bella, I don’t want to answer these questions right now,” I couldn’t tell her about Edward because she would go straight to him and that wouldn’t be good for either one of us. “You need to find a way to be with me until Carlisle can figure this out.”
“What do you mean?” She felt anxious now.
“I want to be better and you make me better, but I can’t control the urges. I’ll lash out at you and say and do things that will hurt you.”
“I want to help you Jasper, but I don’t know how.” She hugged me and I could feel her love pushing through but now it was mixed with guilt.
“Why do you feel guilty?”
“I didn’t mean to fall in love with you because I …”
“You’re still in love with Edward, I can feel that and honestly I would think that there was something wrong with you if you weren’t still in love with him.”
“The love I feel for him is different than what I’m feeling for you, but I’m very confused. Before you came back I was getting married and planning a future with Edward.”
“A future that you weren’t even sure he was going to give you. He wasn’t going to marry you.” I didn’t mean to say that but I wanted her to know.
“Yes he was. I was wearing his ring and he promised to turn me.” I felt her hurt, but I needed to make her see what I felt in his heart.
“He loves you, I know he does, but it’s that love that has him so conflicted. He won’t end your life.” But, I would. I was far more selfish than Edward and I would give her what she wanted and keep her with me forever in the process.
“No,” the tears started to stream down her face but not because she thought what I was saying wasn’t true. She was crying because she was beginning to realize that what she had been thinking these past few months was right. “He’ll turn me,” she sobbed. “I promised to marry him and in return he would…”
“Make love to you? How’s that working out for you?”
“And when is the wedding? Oh, right after college in four years. College in Alaska was it?”
She shook her head.
“You don’t even want to go to college yet, do you?” I would give her anything she wanted; take her anywhere she wanted to go if she would let me.
She got up off of my lap. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back to me. “I’m just trying to make you see the truth; the truth that you already know.” I pressed my lips to hers. “The reason I was able to come in and make you betray him was because you knew that he was never going to give you want you wanted.” I ran my tongue along her bottom lip and she sighed against my mouth. “But I can.”
She tried to struggle out of my hold.
“I don’t like when you pull away from me,” I told her knowing that it was probably better if I let her leave. I couldn’t. “I’ve already made love to you, Bella,” I ran my tongue down her neck and began to nip at her vein. “Edward wouldn’t do that and he won’t do this either.” I increased the pressure of my teeth just at the skin over that thin vein. It wouldn’t take much now.
She took a deep, frantic breath but I didn’t feel any fear. She wanted me to bite her, but as far gone as I was I knew that I couldn’t do that now.
I released my teeth from her heated skin and smiled at her, “Not tonight,” I said as I took her face in my hands. “I need to be fixed first.”
She looked down and I felt a tinge of disappointment coming from her and then confusion. “Why do you have this affect on me?”
“Because we’re meant to be.” I pulled her closer to me and she settled into my chest. She was so comfortable; a perfect fit. The urge to be inside of her was overwhelming, but I knew after last night and today her body wouldn’t be able to handle me. I could control this for her.
She glanced up at me and I could tell she was looking for some kind of direction. I still scared her on so many levels and she was afraid of making a mistake around me.
“I just want to hold you, sweetheart; I need to be close to you.”
She pressed her palm to my cheek, “I’ll do whatever you need.”
“For whatever reason Bella you seem to be my center, my calming place. Please stay with me until we figure this out.”
“I won’t leave you Jasper. I can’t.”
I began to stroke her hair and let myself be completely taken in by Bella and this moment. Things would not always be this peaceful for us especially when she realized that Edward would need her too.
As I was stalking my first victim, all I could think about was sinking my razor sharp teeth into her neck. The monster in me was rejoicing, knowing that I was about to give him exactly what he wanted.
As I got closer to her, the venom in my mouth pooled even more and I had to swallow it down. I could smell her intoxicating blood and hear her steady heartbeat. I leaped forward and landed quietly behind her. She wouldn’t know what was going on until it was too late. Poor girl.
She must have felt my presence because she spun around and I grabbed her and placed my hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. I pulled her behind the book store that she had just left and pinned her up against the wall. Her thoughts were frantic and scared. She kept chanting over and over in her mind, please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me. Tonight was not her lucky night.
I turned her head to the side to allow me better access and sunk my teeth into her neck. I wasn’t a total monster, I made it quick. She flinched, but I held her still and drank from her. The taste of her blood sliding down my throat was fucking perfect. Why had I been denying myself all of these years?
My dick was so fucking hard that I wished Bella was here so I could fuck her senseless. All too soon my victim was drained. I removed my teeth from her neck and slung her over my shoulder. I licked the blood from my lips not wanting to waste a single drop.
I had to hide my dinner so I ran into the woods with her and buried her by a tree. I placed a few rocks over the area as some sort of marker and took off running further into the woods.
I stopped by a river and sat down and then it hit me. I just drank from a human. Oh god, what was wrong with me? The whole time I was draining that woman, all I could think about was wanting to thrust my dick into Bella’s tight, warm pussy. What the fuck?
Oh I was so fucking hard. Oh how I wished my Bella was here so she could ride me and I could feel her body in my arms. I turned to the north because I could hear Peter’s thoughts and by the sound of it, he was fast approaching.
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