Saving Bella Chapter 3
A/N: I don’t own anything: Well except for a vacuum cleaner that sucks!
Saving Bella: Chapter 3
JPOV (as a matter of fact this will probably all be in his POV)
Last time in Chapter 2
She held on to me for dear life. If I was a life preserver she was going to be saved by me. And I would willingly save her. As I held her my thoughts circled around the fact that in less than 24 hours I’ve helped her get a good night’s sleep and eat a decent meal.
I am going to save Bella.
Now on to Chapter 3:
We stood there for almost 20 minutes. When Charlie came back downstairs he took in the sight at the sink and immediately got angry. “What is going on?!? What did you do to her?” He nearly yelled at me.
Bella looked up from my chest at me, then at Charlie. She sniffled and pulled back away from my arms slowly. I let go unwillingly. When she was in my arms I knew she was safe. I knew she was working through her thoughts. I knew she was fragile on so many levels and I didn’t want to let her go.
“Sir…” I started but Bella cut in and I let her take the lead.
“Char-Dad, I gave him a hug and I was sad so I was crying. I’m ok now though.” Her voice was even, monotone, dead. She sniffled and reached for the tissue next to the refrigerator on the counter. She blew her nose and turned back towards the sink turning the water on. She didn’t explain further and he didn’t question it more.
Charlie looked at me with a pained expression. His emotions were all over but he added guilt to the mixture. I assumed that was for his outburst. I nodded my head in agreement with her statement but choose to stay quiet.
“Bella I have to go to the office for a couple of hours will you two be ok while I’m gone?” He asked sounding almost like he wanted to cry. I turned towards Bella and when she looked back at Charlie, it was back. The haunted dazed look. She looked through him and nodded her head once. She didn’t say anything or acknowledge me. She had shut back down. That little door that I opened just snapped shut.
I sighed internally and returned the pained expression to Charlie. “Can I see you in the garage a minute son?” He asked sounding defeated. I nodded my head. I place a light hand on Bella’s shoulder and whispered with my southern accent and cool breath right in her ear “I’ll be back in a moment Darlin’.” She didn’t acknowledge me but she did shiver just slightly. And I was happy to get any reaction out of her.
Charlie gave a small smile as he led the way out to the garage. He grabbed his jacket and gun belt from by the front door and continued into the garage. He set the stuff on the hood of his cruiser and looked at me with beseeching eyes. His emotions said he had hope, fear, anger, and sadness. It all made perfect sense to me. This was his baby.
I waited silently while he stared down for a moment at the items on his hood. He finally sighed and turned around but he continued to look at the ground when he spoke. He was speaking quietly, probably so she wouldn’t over hear, but also because he was just that tired.
“Look son, I’m sorry I yelled back there. I just saw her crying and remembered last night when you said HIS name. I know she cries a lot though. Typically at night. She slept pretty good last night. I only heard her scream in her sleep once. I slept well too. For once. I’m glad to be honest we both needed it.” He glanced up at me. I continued to watch him without saying a word wondering where he was going with this.
“Look, Jasper, you have gotten more out of her in the last hour than I have in weeks. I can’t say I’m happy that you get her to react but its change and this change is good. She ate. She needs to eat. The doctors are talking about hospitalizing her if she loses any more weight and putting a feeding tube in. I don’t know how you got her to do that but Thank You.” Charlie looked me in the eye when he said thank you and I could feel his gratitude. He was truly glad that Bella had eaten her plate of eggs. I can’t say I was as happy about having to eat it myself, but he didn’t need to know that.
“I am going to go out for a while. I really don’t have to go to the office but I need to get out and you seem to be doing well with her. How long are you going to stay? I don’t like to leave her alone much. I’m afraid she’ll hurt herself. She hasn’t yet, but she doesn’t eat and that’s one way she’s hurting herself already.” He went back to looking at the floor and I figured it was my turn to talk.
“I’ll stay as long as she’ll let me Sir. Until after dinner, maybe? I’d like to try to get her to eat again?” I questioned if this was ok. Wondering if I could get her to eat again. He nodded. “I think I’ll have dinner at the Diner tonight. Can you make her dinner or try to get her to make dinner for you both? There’s a lot of fish in the freezer out here.” He pointed to a freezer in the corner of the garage.
I nodded my head. “Yes Sir I’m sure we can come up with something. Do you have a cell number in case I need to reach you?” I asked as I pulled my cell from my pocket. He recited his number and I programmed it into the phone. I figured I might as well tell Charlie of my plans while we were talking.
“Charlie, do you think it would be ok if I took Bella to the bookstore in Port Angeles? If she agrees that is.” I asked with as much concern and excitement as I could. I thought an outing might be good for Bella. He gaped at me. I really thought maybe I had grown a third arm or a second head the way he was looking at me.
“Ummm…if she’ll agree to go?” He answered in the form of a question. He was skeptical of this idea. But that was ok I was going to try anyways. I decided to tack on “Maybe I could take her out for dinner while we are out, again if she agrees”. He just nodded dumbly at me grabbed his gun belt and walked over to put it on the tool chest in the corner opposite the cooler.
Oh yeah, he wasn’t going to work, he didn’t need it. He was leaving me alone to try to help Bella. My thoughts floated back to breakfast. I still had the eggs in my stomach as uncomfortable as that was I could not get the sight of her little mouth as she put forkful after forkful of eggs between her lips. I shook my head. I looked to see Charlie putting his jacket on and getting into the cruiser.
“Have a good day and please be careful. Please don’t hurt her. Call me if you need to…Oh can I have your number too Jasper?” He emphasized the question. I nodded, pulled out my phone and called his number. His pocket rang and I hung up. “There it should show on your incoming calls”. He nodded again and without another word closed the car door and started the car.
I went back in to find Bella.
She was just finishing the dishes.
I was surprised Charlie didn’t say anything about the hug or when I whispered in her ear. I don’t think he could. That’s what he meant when he said ‘I can’t say I’m happy that you get her to react but its change and this change is good’. He didn’t want to rock the boat if I was getting anything from her. He was happy to have the change.
On the other hand I was worried it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t going to last.
She put the last plate in the drying rack and turned to look at me. She looked through me again. Her wall was back up. I needed to at least get her to look at me and not through me again. I glanced around the kitchen. She had cleaned everything up.
“So Bella, what would you like to do today?” I asked with excitement like I was talking to just a regular person and not this zombie before me. She stayed still looking through my chest. I waited. For 3 minutes I waited, when it became painfully obvious that she wasn’t going to say anything I tried for humor again.
“Umm…so those eggs aren’t sitting too well with me, do you think I could use your bathroom?” I said with a grin rubbing my stomach. I tried to project some humor to her but I couldn’t tell if she could feel it or not.
Her eyes looked up to mine. Thank God! She looked at me. “Bathroom is second door on the left that way.” She pointed down the hall. She wasn’t laughing, she was still monotone but she responded. So I went to take care of my breakfast. I knew if I was going to eat dinner with her I needed to take care of this now. As unpleasant as it would be.
When I returned a few minutes later she was nowhere to be seen but my ears and nose told me she was in her room. I went upstairs and knocked on her door. No response. “Bella? Are you decent?” I asked. I wasn’t going to walk into her room without an invitation if I could help it.
She mumbled a “yes” had I been human I wouldn’t have heard it but I understood her and she knew I would. I entered and went right over and sat down on the bed next to her. She glanced at me but said nothing. So I tried again “What do ya’ll wanna to do today, Bella?” making sure the southern drawl was in full force just to try to get a reaction. She ignored me again. Staring straight ahead through the wall.
I figured I needed to try something different then. I leaned in towards her. I didn’t touch her but came so close I could feel the heat from her skin. I whispered in her ear again. “Bella would you like to accompany me to Port Angeles today?” I made sure my cool breath tickled the shell of her ear.
I smiled as I saw her shiver. I didn’t know what that made her feel since she was closed off to me. That was becoming increasingly annoying also but I just wanted her to break out of this trance-like state she was in. She didn’t say anything right away and her face expressed no emotion.
I waited again. But I did not pull back. I matched my breathing with hers and made sure each exhale brushed across the shell of her ear. She shivered a couple more times but we both stayed silent. I was finding this position wasn’t that difficult despite the fact that her jugular was only inches from my mouth. I focused on her breathing and not on the sound of her heart beating, pumping the lush fragrant blood through her veins.
I needed to stay focused. I wanted to lick her ear, taste her skin, the longer I looked at it but I stayed motionless. Wondering what she would do if I did lick her ear. She is after all a beautiful girl. Woman. She’s a beautiful woman. Even though she is very sickly looking at the moment, she is still beautiful. Underneath it all though I knew there was a bright, vibrant young woman in there and I was going to save her. But first I had to find her. She was locked away tight. And she is stubborn.
As I contemplated how tasty and warm Bella’s skin would feel in a non-food kind of way she finally answered. “No”. Was all she said. My heart sank just a little. Then I realized maybe she would change her mind if she knew what we were going to do in Port Angeles.
I pulled back and tried to look her in the eye. She stared straight ahead never looking at me. I grabbed her chin gently between my cold steel fingers and turned her head to look at me. She tried to resist a little but I was having none of that. With only inches separating our faces I asked her again.
“Bella, Darlin’ I’m goin’ to the bookstore in Port Angeles and I’d like for ya to come with me. I’d also like to take ya out to dinner while we’re there. Nothin’ fancy maybe Sam’s Chinese place? Your dad said he wouldn’t be back in time for dinner so I should make you fish or ask you to make it yourself. Which would ya prefer? Port Angeles with me or fish at home?” I tried to make my request sound as sexy as possible with my southern accent coming through strong, though I’m not sure why?
I didn’t want her to be attracted to me, did I? What was I thinking? I just wanted her to be better. I wanted her to go out and have fun, smile. I wanted to save her from the darkness that she has fallen in. I know Alice and I broke up months ago and I shouldn’t be hitting on Bella. She’s obviously not over Fuckward. Obviously! The last thing she needs is me complicating this mess for her more. Still I had to admit to myself I liked the idea of dating Bella. Maybe one day. Definitely not today!
I was still holding her chin and looking into her eyes waiting for an answer as I argued with myself over the way I just asked her to go to Port Angeles with me. She finally closed her eyes to get away. Her body slumped just a little but she didn’t fight my grip and I didn’t let her go. I waited. Being a vampire makes it easy to sit motionless for long periods of time. I knew I could wait her out. And I would. I can be just as stubborn, woman, I thought to myself with an internal smirk.
She sighed “I can’t Jasper” she said flatly. She never moved never opened her eyes never let me know what she was feeling. I wondered if she knew she was keeping her emotions from me. One way to find out. Change the topic.
“Bella, do you know I can’t feel your emotions anymore? I haven’t been able to feel them since I came back yesterday.” No need to tell her I could feel them in her sleep. I didn’t want her to know I was in her home like Fuckward used to be. I should have known. She’s too smart for her own good. Maybe she could read my mind. Fuckward, I shook my head.
Her eyes still closed, voice still without inflection she started talking. “Jasper, I know you came last night. I know you helped me sleep…..thank you….I’m sorry you had to feel that, hear that. I’m glad that you can’t feel me now. No one should have to feel this but me. It’s my pain, my problem. You can go back to your family” Her voice broke on the last word. I realized it wasn’t just Fuckward that left her; it affected her that we all left. We all left without saying goodbye.
I have to fix this! It’s my fault! Oh God this is my fault! Her life is in ruins because of me!
I didn’t know what to say other than I’m not leaving. “Bella, I’m not leavin’. Not until you’re better, Sweetheart. I can’t stand the thought of you livin’ like this”.
Can’t say I expected what happened next.
She jumped back from my grasp. She fell on the floor and scrambled to her feet. I sat there looking at her wondering what caused this reaction. And fire flashed in her eyes. She bore a hole straight into my eyes as she began to yell “LIVING LIKE THIS? WHAT THE HELL JASPER? YOU COME BACK TO MY LIFE AND THINK YOU ARE JUST GOING TO MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER!?! WELL FUCK OFF!!!” I stared at her in shock. I wasn’t sure that her yelling was a good thing. I still couldn’t feel her but obviously she was enraged.
I did think I was going to make everything better. I was going to help her. I had to help her. She didn’t want my help?
“Bella, I’m sorry, I just came back to Forks to apologize. It’s my fault all of this happened. I know you said you didn’t blame me when it happened. Do you still feel that way? Because that was before you became one of the livin’ dead.” I blanched as soon as I said that last sentence. I knew what she was going to think, what she would say and that statement was not going to reduce her anger any.
She was vibrating with anger. She was turning a brilliant shade of red. I couldn’t even bring myself to calm her down I deserved everything she was going to unleash on me. Though I still couldn’t feel her emotions. I didn’t need to they were written all over her face.
Again Bella never does what you expect.
I caught her before she hit the floor. Her emotions opened to me as soon as she was in my arms. And as soon as I felt the wave of despair from her I started to calm her. I knew if I didn’t take control she was going to bring me down with her emotional overload and I needed to stay strong for her. I wasn’t sure why she fainted. She was red but she hadn’t stopped breathing, she didn’t hyperventilate, her heart was racing but not uncontrollably. Did she literally faint because her mind couldn’t take it?
I called Carlisle while I kept her asleep. Her breathing and heart rate had evened out.
“Hello, Jasper how is she?” Carlisle asked as he answered the phone. I guess I’ll just get it over with.
I told Carlisle everything that had happened this morning with the eggs, the hug, and up until the time Bella fainted. He agreed that her mind just shut down. She escaped from the pain the only way she knew how.
We made a decision. I was getting her out of this house, it may force her to talk to me, and it was going to be against her will. She needed to be angry, she needed to feel something. I loaded her into my truck and put her seat belt on. I returned to the house where I found a pair of tennis shoes by the door, her winter coat and purse hanging on the coat hooks.
I put her stuff in the truck and climbed in behind the wheel. I made sure she was asleep until we were more than half way to Port Angeles. If she really freaked out on me I’d bring her home but I was going to do my best to force her to do something today.
I sent her some excitement to help wake her up. She stirred. Her emotions hit me like a tidal wave sadness, hurt, anger. They were so strong. I had to pull over on the side of the road. I was glad I could still feel her though. But it was intense. I continued to try to keep her calm and wake her up. I put my hand on her shoulder and shook it. “Bella, Bella, wake up Darlin’.”
She stirred she looked around at her surroundings and then over at me. She was angry and confused. She was still open to me. Before she could start yelling I started explaining.
“Bella, you fainted in your bedroom. I’m sorry I upset ya. We are almost to Port Angeles, the bookstore. I thought you might like to get something new. I hear there are several Vampire series that are popular with young adults right now.” I added with a smirk. I kept her calm but not completely. She was angry and it was showing. She needed to feel it.
She looked around again and felt a bit smug. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow in silent question. “Well Jasper it seems you kidnapped me without so much as shoes on. Most stores have a ‘No shirt, No shoes, No service’ policy. She didn’t smile, she did have any expression on her face. But her eyes had a bit more life in them though and it made me smile that she was wrong.
I smirked at her again and nodded my head towards the backseat. She glanced in the back and looked back at me. Her emotions shut off. “Bella how do you do that? I could feel your emotions until just now, how are you blocking me?”
She shrugged, sat back and looked out the window without a word.
“Are you going to put your shoes and coat on?” I questioned. The cab of the truck was warm enough I made sure the heat was on but she would need to put that stuff on to go into the store.
She ignored me again.
So I decided to drive exactly the speed limit and just talk.
I told her about my human life what I remember. I told her about being a Major in the Civil War. I told her about my love for books especially War books. I told her about how Alice and I met but tried to keep it quick. I told her about how Alice and I broke up. I did not tell her how I was changed. That was a conversation for another day.
She never looked at me or acknowledged me. She never made a comment or asked a question and she never let me feel her emotions. I could have been talking to a tree.
While I talked I tried to decide how I was going to get her into the store. Short of carrying her in, I wasn’t really sure how I was going to do it.
We pulled up in front of the store. I turned the truck off and reached in the back for her stuff. I didn’t ask her I didn’t say one word and I didn’t look at her face. I grabbed her left foot and started putting her shoe on. She tried to pull her foot away from me but she didn’t say anything and she knew she wasn’t going to win.
I tied her tennis shoe and grabbed for the other one. She reached her hand out for it. I had her right foot in my hand which meant her body was turned toward me. Her shoe was in my other hand. I paused and raised my eyebrow at her. I wasn’t going to give in if she wasn’t going to talk. After a few seconds I moved to put her shoe on and she grabbed at it. “I can do it.” She said calmly. I’m guessing her words were much calmer than what she was actually feeling but I can’t be sure.
I let go of her foot and shoe and sat back still facing her, watching her. She never looked at me and she slowly put her shoe on. When she finished I handed her, her coat. She put it on without argument. “I’ll wait here.” She stated. I scoffed at her. “You are going in Bella” I growled at her. It may have sounded more menacing than I intended but it got my point across.
I opened my door which was towards the curb and hopped out. I reached my hand towards her. She grabbed her door handle to open her door but I quickly grabbed her arm and yanked her across the seat. “Bella it’s not safe to go that way, just come this way please?” I asked her.
She hopped out of the truck ignoring my offered hand. We walked into the bookstore without further incident. I made sure she was going to go look around and not just stand inside the door before I headed for the American History section.
I found her 20 minutes later looking through the fiction section. She had one small book in her hands a short story. The Portrait of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. I laughed internally that the story is about a human monster that stayed beautiful and youthful on the outside, while he committed atrocious acts and his portrait changed to show the hideousness that he truly was. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to purchase such a story since I know how the story ends but my guess is she did too. Was it the same end she wished for Fuckward? I assume this is what she felt he was another Dorian Gray.
With humor in my voice I asked her “Are you getting that book, Bella?” I couldn’t contain the smirk that followed.
She looked up at me. Her eyes sparkled for just a second again. The humor makes her eyes sparkle. I need to see more of that. I need to find more humor for her. I took the book from her hands and made my way to the checkout counter. She followed and didn’t even argue. That was curious. I looked to see if she was behind me. She followed and was looking at her feet. The teenage girl at the counter smiled at me and asked too sweetly if I ‘found everything I needed’. The double meaning was not lost on me. The lust she was throwing off assured me of her meaning also. Bella stood next to me and flinched ever so slightly at her words but otherwise didn’t acknowledge the issue.
I wonder why Bella would care if the girl hit on me? Curious.
I paid for the book and we left the store. I put the book in the truck and turned Bella to walk down the street. It was cold but not unbearable. She didn’t question me she just let me guide her silently. As we walked down the street toward the coffee shop I knew was only a block down Bella’s head snapped up.
I couldn’t feel her emotions, her face did not betray any emotion but she began shaking. I followed her gaze to see what she was looking at. I didn’t understand but I felt that I should. I was missing something. Something important. “Bella?” I questioned her with worry.
A/N: Thanks to mssmith for suggesting Jasper take Bella on outings. If anyone has any ideas for other places besides the usual…mall…movies…restaurants, let me know.
Please R&R….Even a smiley face can make me happy!
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