Fate Has Brought Us Here Part 2
Title: Fate Has Brought Us HereCategory: Books » TwilightAuthor: cullen818Language: English, Rating: Rated: MAGenre: Romance/DramaPublished: 04-09-09, Updated: 10-16-09Chapters: 34, Words: 93,408
I ran to the bookstore to pick up my paycheck. I wanted to get home as soon as possible so that I could get ready. I had planned to spend the weekend at Jasper’s again, and I wanted to be done when he came to get me. We had been spending most of our time together these past few weeks, and I really enjoyed his company. I had been alone for so long that I welcomed this new and exciting time in my life. I knew things were moving quickly between us, but it was as if I had been waiting for him.
As I opened the door and stepped into the shop I could see that this wasn’t going to be as quick as I had originally hoped. Jack was at the register. Oh, why did he have to be here? It wasn’t that he was a problem, but more of a nuisance. He had flirted with me all summer and in my depressed state I had hardly noticed or cared, and then somehow the week before the fall semester started I had inadvertently accepted an invitation to go to the movies with him. I’m still not sure how that happened, but it did. It wasn’t that he was hard on the eyes, actually he was rather cute. Not Jasper, but who was? Anyway, I went on the uneventful date and I was sure that I wasn’t much company at all, but for some reason he wasn’t giving up on me. And now here he was … ready to try again and do nothing but make me late for where I really wanted to be.
“Hey, beautiful. What are you doing here? Miss me?” You wish.
“Hey, Jack. I’m just here to pick up my paycheck, and I’m sort of in a hurry so could you get it for me?” Please just leave it at that.
“What’s the rush? Hot date?” Yes … with the absolute most gorgeous creature who wanted to do things to me that I couldn’t even say. Stop it, Bella.
“Actually, I do have plans tonight.”
“Cancel them and go out with me.” I don’t think so.
“Jack, I had a really nice time last month, but I told you I have since starting seeing someone.”
“I don’t believe you. You had absolutely no social life before our date, and now I am to believe that you have a steady boyfriend? I think you are playing hard to get.” Yuck!
“Jack, the paycheck. Please.” He went behind the counter and got it for me. That was too easy.
“What are you willing to give me in return?” Was he kidding? He leaned in really close to me, and I could feel his breath on my face.
“Look, I could just come back tomorrow with Jasper, my boyfriend, and we could pick it up together.” I didn’t want to have to involve Jasper with his past violent nature and all. I wanted to take care of this myself, but I wasn’t doing a very good job. I turned to walk out.
“Wait … I don’t want you to have to go through the trouble of having a friend come in to play your boyfriend, so here you go.” He handed me the envelope. I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thanks. Have a great weekend.” You obnoxious jerk! I ran out and briskly walked to my apartment. Jack was nothing but a distant memory by the time I reached my front steps.
I needed to hurry because I told Jasper I would eat before he picked me up. I didn’t want to waste our precious time together having to always eat in front of him. He said he didn’t mind, but it was frustrating to me. So, I decided a bagel and cream cheese would be quick and easy. I found myself spending lots of time daydreaming about him and our time together. That smoldering first kiss, how he brushed my hair that first night, the way he touched me the night of my birthday …
“Ouch …crap!” I sliced my hand while trying to cut my bagel. I was bleeding all over the counter and floor. The sight of it was starting to make me lightheaded, but I had to pull it together because Jasper would be here very soon, and I needed to clean this mess up and more importantly stop the bleeding. I reached for a towel and tightly wrapped it around my hand. It wasn’t working as the blood was soaking right through it.
To my horror there was a knock at the door. “Shit!” This would be bad. I ran to the door as he knocked again. He would have to leave.
“Bella, what is taking you so long? I miss you.”
“Jasper, you can’t come in.”
“Why, not? Are you okay? You’re panicked … open the door.”
“No, I can’t.”
“Bella, why not? If you don’t open it for me I’m just going to kick it in.”
“No please … I’m trying to protect you.”
“I’m coming in. I can smell the blood. Did you hurt yourself?”
“I cut my hand and I’m bleeding really badly. If you leave, I’ll go to the hospital and call you when I’m finished.” Oh, I prayed he would just leave.
“Open the door, please. I won’t hurt you.” I walked to the door, but hesitated. “Bella, please.”
I knew he was coming in either way, so I slowly opened it and he quickly walked in. He grabbed my wrist and just stared at the blood soaked towel. He clinched his jaw so tightly that I thought his teeth might shatter. He closed his eyes.
I opened my eyes and tried to hold my breath, but my throat was already on fire. I feared that the thirst would take over. I could do this… I wouldn’t hurt her. I led her into the small kitchen, but the smell was overwhelming. There was blood all over the counter and some had dripped on to the floor.
“Bella, I need to look at the cut to see how deep it is.”
“You don’t have to do this; I can take care of it.” She pleaded.
I unwrapped the towel from her shaking hand and the blood began to immediately pour from the wound. It ran down her hand and over her wrist. The scent was too overpowering for me to resist. I had to do it. I held her hand up to my mouth and breathed in that intoxicating scent. “You smell so good.” I licked the excess blood from her wrist. Pure bliss. I closed my eyes and gave in to my instincts. I heard her gasp and could feel how frightened she was. “Shh.” I moved my tongue along her wrist and into the palm of her hand, as I savored that sweet, delicious liquid flowing into my mouth. It was so warm and fulfilling that I had to let it linger in my mouth before swallowing. She tasted like no prey I had ever encountered, human or otherwise, but the more I took in the more I realized that I didn’t want to drain her, I didn’t want to hurt her at all. I physically couldn’t; no venom even pooled in my mouth. I didn’t even have my instinctual urge to destroy, although I did have other urges that I couldn’t deal with right now. I lowered her hand from my mouth, grabbed a clean towel from the counter and tightly wrapped it around her hand.
It occurred to me that if I could resist that and a feeding frenzy didn’t begin then I could surely make love to her without losing control, and more importantly if I could take blood from her body without drinking her completely then I would be able to successfully turn her without killing her. But, these were thoughts for another time. I needed to get her taken care of.
“You cut yourself pretty deep. You’ll need stitches and since I’m not Carlisle, I’ll have to take you to the ER.”
“You’re more like Carlisle then you realize.” Her heart was pounding.
“Bella, I’m sorry I scared you, but I’m not sorry I did that. It proved a few things to me.” I scooped her up and carried her to the car.
We didn’t say much on the car ride home from the hospital, and I debated whether I should just take her back to her apartment, but selfishly I really wanted her to come back to my house. She didn’t object when we pulled into my driveway, and I led her into the house and up the steps to the bedroom.
“Really Bella, ten stitches? How?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention, I guess.”
“Are you hungry since I gather you didn’t eat?”
“I never made it that far, but no I’m not hungry. Are you?” She casually asked.
I smiled, “No, I’ve already fed.”
“More then once.” She was upset.
“Bella, I didn’t feed off you, if I had you wouldn’t be standing here.”
“What was that about Jasper?” She was concerned.
“I don’t know? A moment of weakness, perhaps? It was just so tempting that I had to taste you. I’m truly sorry for scaring you.”
“I wasn’t afraid for me, but I was terrified for you.” I could feel the anxiety building within her.
“For me? Why?” I sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for her to sit in my lap.
She walked over and climbed into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. “I didn’t think you would stop.”
“So, you were afraid for me, and not you?”
“Well, I felt awful that you had fought those instincts for two years, and then I go and cut myself minutes before you come over and now you have tasted human blood again and it’s all my fault.” She was now distraught.
Her logic didn’t seem to make sense to me. “Do you realize that if I would have lost control I would have killed you? And, yet you were afraid of what would have happened to me if I fell off the wagon?”
“Well, if you would have lost control then we would never have been able to be together again anyway, so it really wouldn’t have mattered if you killed me.”
“Bella, what are you saying?” Now I was truly confused.
“Jasper, I can’t live without you, and I’m hoping my stupidity,” she pointed to her hand, “doesn’t make you rethink us.”
“Sweetheart,” I picked up her hand, “this is not your fault. You’re human and accidents are going to happen. I’ll deal with them. Maybe today wasn’t the best way for me to deal with the situation, but as controlled as I’m trying to be I’m still a vampire.”
“You still want to be with me? You’re not leaving?”
How was I going to convince her that I couldn’t leave her? “No, it made me realize just how much I want to be with you. I know you can’t understand just how difficult it should have been for me to stop, but I did and that goes against everything I am.”
“Not that I am complaining, but why did you stop?”
“Well, it wasn’t as if you weren’t the most appetizing thing I have ever tasted, but I could never hurt you, and I would do everything in my power to keep you with me. Bella, I love you.” There I said it, whether she was ready or not it was out in the open.
She just stared at me, but I didn’t feel shock or rejection not even confusion coming from her. “It’s okay; you don’t have to say anything,” I said. She grabbed my face and kissed me more fiercely then she ever had before, and with that kiss I felt everything she felt for me; friendship, companionship, desire, need and love. I twisted my hands in her hair and pulled her closer, kissing just as hard. She broke away.
“I love you, too. I didn’t think that it would be possible for me to ever feel that way again, but you have changed everything for me. I need you, Jasper.”
“I’m here and I am not going anywhere. I need you to believe that. I can’t explain why things have happened this fast, but I don’t want to fight it.” I kissed her again and felt her heart rate pick up. She shifted her body to face me as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I could feel how much she wanted me, and it was driving me crazy. She squeezed her thighs tightly around my hips and thrust her pelvis into my center. I knew she could feel my erection pressing against her.
“Be careful, I might not be able to show the restraint I did in your kitchen.” I grabbed her hair and pushed her closer to me. She thrust into me again. I let out a low growl and flipped her onto her back. I unbuttoned her shirt as I kissed her neck. I reached down and began to rub the heat between her legs.
“Jasper …” she moaned.
It drove me insane when she said my name. I pulled the shirt from her body and ran my hands along her ribcage and over her breasts, gently squeezing them and then running my thumbs over her hardened nipples. I knew I should be pacing myself, but her lust and desire was smacking into me and mixing with mine.
“Oh… please …” She wrapped her legs around my hips and arched her back. I could smell her arousal … that deliciously dangerous scent that was making me want to do all kinds of wicked things to her. I quickly pulled my shirt off and ripped the bra from her body because I needed to feel her against me. This time I thrust my body against hers. I ran my tongue from the base of her throat, in between her breasts and down her stomach, stopping at the button of her jeans. She reached down and unbuttoned them for me. I lowered the zipper and slid them down her legs as I kissed her thighs, knees, calves and ankles. While I was at the foot of the bed, I pulled off my pants and boxers as I needed to be as close to her as possible.
I gently lowered myself on to her supporting most of my weight on my forearms. She wrapped her legs around my waist and gripped my shoulders. “Bella, you are so sexy.” I kissed her as I began to move my extremely hard erection against her soaking wet panties. “That feels so good.” I moved the length of my shaft against her occasionally pushing into her. My body shivered at the friction we were creating. I wanted to rip those little panties right off of her body, but then I realized I didn’t have too, she was already having an orgasm.
“Jasper… don’t stop…that feels so good.”
“Cum for me Bella.” I kept rubbing against her until she let go. I couldn’t stop staring at her. She was absolutely glorious, and I would never tire of bringing her such ecstasy. When she was finished I pulled her close to me and kissed her. I felt her reaching between us, trying to pull off her panties.
“Bella, what are you doing?”
“Jasper, I need to feel you inside of me. Now!” She was desperate with want and need.
That was all it took; I tore off the last barrier of clothing that was between us, grabbed a condom from the nightstand and put it in place. Thank God for vampire speed. “Are you sure?” I monitored her emotions, but there didn’t seem to be any doubt, lots of lust, but no uncertainty. “We don’t have to do this tonight.”
“I want you.” She kissed me as she reached up and cupped my face between her hands. “I want to be yours in every sense of the word.”
I trembled as I slowly entered her. I knew how careful I needed to be at this particular moment. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I couldn’t do this without inflicting some pain on her. I pressed my way in, giving her time to get accustomed to the intrusion. She began to move her hips up and down trying to push me deeper. She was already so wet, making it easier for me to slide in further, and because of my heightened senses I could hear the tear and feel the warm blood trickle down me and on to her thigh.
Her body tensed and I felt her physical pain, but she didn’t complain or cry. I sent her and relaxing vibe, so that her body could respond to what was happening. I wanted to make this moment as perfect as possible for her.
She held her breath as I began to move back and fort, slowly at first. I knew she was in pain, but she wasn’t trying to push me out. “Bella, you feel so good.” She let out the breath she was holding, and began to move with me. The sensation was better than anything I had ever experienced before. I wanted to plunge deeper, and take that quick release that my body demanded, but I wanted her to get past the pain and enjoy it.
“Jasper, it’s starting to hurt less … it actually feels good. Oh…” she moaned and I could feel her pleasure begin to take over..
“You are so wet and tight that I’m going to … oh, Bella.” I was slamming into her harder now and I knew it wasn’t going to be much longer. I wanted to bring her release first. “Bella, will you cum for me again? I want to feel you do it.” I thrust even harder.
“Oh, Jasper … I’m going to, right now.” She dug her fingers into my back. And with that statement I let go and came harder then I ever had before. It was an incredible feeling, one that I would never forget. It was the most intense feeling of my entire existence. I wasn’t sure how she was unlocking these feelings from me, but I was glad that she could.
We were both breathing heavily and with all the strength I had a regrettably pulled out of her. If I could have stayed joined to her like that forever I would have. I never wanted to let her go. I pulled her on to my chest. “Are you okay?”
“I’m better then okay. That was the best experience of my life.”
“Oh baby, I was thinking the same thing, and I’ve had a much longer life.”
“Thank you for wanting me.” She snuggled in closer, but I could feel how cold she was. I reached down to the floor and found my shirt.
I handed it to her, “Put this on, if you are going to stay wrapped around me you’ll need it.”
She put it too her face, “Mmm … it smells like you.” She put it on and took her spot back on my chest. She yawned.
“Time for bed. I think you have had a long enough day.” I stroked her hair.
“I don’t want to sleep; I want to stay with you.”
“Bella, I’ll be here when you wake up. We have an eternity to be together.” I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud, but I was caught up in the moment.
“Do we?” She didn’t seem as sleepy. “I mean would you want me forever?”
“Oh , no you don’t, that is a conversation for another day.” I put my hand on her back and sent her some peaceful emotions. “Good night, sweetheart.”
“Hmm … I love you.” She was asleep within seconds.
Of course I would want her forever. There was really no way around it. I simply could not exist without her in my world, so eventually I would have to turn her. It was the only logical thing to do. But,was that what she would want? Only time would tell.
I squeezed her a little closer, “I love you, Bella.”
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
I felt a cool hand brush over my face as I began to stir. I knew I had been asleep for a long time and that felt really good, but my body seemed to ache all over. I opened my eyes and saw that those gorgeous amber eyes were starring back at me. What a way to wake up.
“Good Morning, darling,” he said, as he leaned down and kissed me. “How do you feel?”
“Kind of sore all over, but it was worth it.” I blushed.
“Sorry, I tried to be as gentle as possible, but some things I can’t help. “ He stroked the light bruises on my arms. “I’m sure these are all over your body. I really am sorry.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t feel it when it was happening, so that’s all that really matters.” I reached up and caressed his face. I liked being able to touch him without having to think about it. I noticed he had showered and put on fresh clothes. “Hey, you left.”
“Yes, well I needed to hunt and shower, and then I went to your apartment and picked up some things for you. Some of the clothes you had on last night really weren’t salvageable. I assure you that you were in the deepest of sleep and I knew I would be back before you even began to move.”
I pouted a bit. I couldn’t stand the thought of being out of his arms for even just the slightest amount of time.
“Why don’t you do what you have to and I’ll get your breakfast. I thought maybe a bagel and cream cheese?”
“Yes, well I think that I’ll be slicing your bagels from now on. It may be safer for both of us.” He kissed my cheek. “How is your hand?”
“Sore, but I’ll live.” I got out of the bed and noticed the box of condoms on the nightstand. I blushed again. “Not that I’m complaining, but are those really necessary?” I pointed to the box. I was curious as I didn’t think the normal contraceptive practices applied when dealing with a vampire.
“Ah, well like I had said before, I’ve never been with a human and while I’m fairly certain that I can’t get you pregnant, stranger things have happened. Plus, my venom can be extremely dangerous to you and since it emits from all of my bodily fluids we will need to practice safe sex.”
He always thought of everything. “Oh, well thanks for thinking of those things. I was too caught up in the moment to realize that you had even used one.”
“Your mind was otherwise occupied,” he smiled. “It’s very easy to distract you.”
I glanced over to the corner of the room and saw several of my bags in the corner. “Some clothes? That looks like everything I own.”
“I wasn’t sure what you would want, so I may have over packed. Maybe you’ll have to extend your stay.” He gave me that adorable grin, the one that would make me agree to anything.
“Maybe,” I smiled back. I began to walk to the bathroom, but he gently grabbed me and pulled me into his arms.
“Bella, last night was truly amazing, but I’m afraid that I may have rushed you. Would you tell me if you were having second thoughts? I mean, I know I can feel what you’re feeling, but I don’t want to misinterpret anything.”
Was he out of his mind? I was exactly where I wanted to be. “Jasper, you didn’t make me do anything that I didn’t want to do. I know we’re moving fast, but when it’s meant to be you just have to go with it.”
“Right, why else would we have found each other after all of that time if it wasn’t suppose to happen this way?” He had a strange look on his face and was deep in some thought. He said in an extremely low voice, “but if it was to be this way then why…” He shook his head.
“Jasper?” I pulled him from his thought.
“Sorry, sweetheart I got distracted. I’m going to go get you something to eat and I’ll grab your phone. It keeps beeping; I think you have a message.”
“Oh, it’s probably Charlie. I haven’t checked in with him in awhile.” I felt guilty.
“You really should call him more often, despite everything that happened during your last year in Forks, he really does love you.”
“You seem so sure. You weren’t around for the tantrums, total isolation and mood swings.” How could I have acted that way?
“He’s your father and besides what’s not to love?” He hugged me. “I’ll be right back.”
I quickly grabbed my bags and went into the bathroom to shower. I knew he’d be back faster then I could get it together. I did feel kind of bad about Charlie and decided that it was time to start making things right with him. Looking back on the whole situation made me feel really awful. He really did try to accommodate m,e but six months into my madness his patience really was starting to wear thin, but I just couldn’t seem to get myself out of it. I kept waiting for him to come back, hoping that if I shut myself down from the rest of the world and did nothing to remind me of the life I had prior to that afternoon in the forest I could get through, but now I seemed to realize I was waiting for the wrong brother. Something drew me to Alaska, to that history class and now I knew who it was.
Jasper was waiting for me when I finished, as I knew he would be. He motioned for me to sit on the couch next to him. “Here, I think you should take these.” He put two aspirin in my hand. “Between those and the hot shower you should start feeling better soon.”
I took the pills from him and swallowed them with my juice. “Thanks for making me breakfast.” The phone was on the tray, so I checked the caller ID and as I had suspected it was Charlie. I felt guilty again and Jasper could sense it.
“I’m sure if you call him, you’ll both feel better. He will hear it in your voice, you know.”
“How happy you are these days.” He stroked my check.
I smiled, “That’s all because of you.”
“We could make some time and I could take you to see him. Is that something you would want?”
“Maybe, but not yet. I’ll let you know when I’m ready.” I felt anxious.
“Bella, I think the reason you don’t go back to visit has less to do with Charlie and more to do with Forks.”
How did he know me so well? I did miss my father and that made me think about his family. “Do you miss them Jasper?” He knew who I was talking about. “You were with them for so long and now you haven’t spoken to them in over two years.”
“You eat and I’ll talk. Yes, I miss them all tremendously as they were my family in every sense of the word. I love them and always will, but I do speak to them.”
I was shocked. “What? But, I thought.”
He interrupted, “Some of them. I said that I hadn’t spoken to Alice in two years and I do feel bad about that. Not in the way you might think, but just because we are not together anymore doesn’t mean that I don’t love her. She was part of me for so long and she came to me at a time when I really needed her. She brought me to the Cullen’s and showed me a better life. I still feel that I owe her.”
Thinking of Alice made me miss her terribly. She was my best friend and I felt that he took that from me too. “Jasper, I would understand if you wanted to find Alice again.” It would be devastating to me, but I could do that for him.
“No, Bella. I don’t feel that way about her anymore and I’m not telling you any of this to upset you, but I think it’s better to be honest with you.”
“So, who do you keep in touch with?” I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know, but I guessed it was better to get it out in the open.
“I talk to Emmett and Rose every once in awhile, but not that often, as they are always wrapped up in each other. They are off at Dartmouth again. Carlisle and Esme are traveling the world. Carlisle is involved with Doctors without Borders and you really would be surprised at how may sunless towns he can do good in. Esme sends me a package every few months with a trinket or souvenir from where ever they are, as I’m sure she does with all of her children. I believe that Alice is traveling with them although they don’t usually offer up that information because they don’t want to hurt me.”
I was surprised he knew so much. I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t bring myself to form the question. “I’m glad you have those connections.” I really was.
“Do you want to know about the last Cullen?” He took my hand and began rubbing small circles in my palm with his fingertip. He was calming me down before I even had a chance to freak.
“You keep in touch with him, too?” I asked, almost to myself, but of course he heard.
“No, I haven’t seen or spoken to him in two years. He does blame me for what happened on your birthday. Although, he never said it I could feel it and I’m not often wrong about what I feel in others emotions. Of course, he didn’t blame me as much as he blamed himself for putting you in that situation, but he did feel that I should have had better control that evening. And, I know he was right.”
“Jasper, it wasn’t your fault.”
“It’s easy for us to say now, isn’t it when the outcome has seemed to work in our favor, but I wonder how Edward would respond?”
I shuddered at the thought. “It doesn’t matter what he would think. He wanted me to be happy and now I am, so he got what he wanted and so did I.” I really did believe that. I moved on as he meant for me to and I wasn’t going to give it another thought. I smiled at him. “Thanks for sharing that with me. Maybe someday we could see them again.”
He shook his head, “I’m not sure that could ever happen. I don’t know how all of them would react to us, but I can’t imagine that it would go over that well with some.”
I knew he was right, but I wanted him to know that he had the option if he ever chose it. “Well, maybe not anytime soon, but we do have all of eternity.” I was hopeful.
“So, you didn’t forget what I said before you fell asleep?” He took the tray away from my lap and moved in closer to me. He smelled delicious … I would always have a preference for all things cinnamon now.
“You mean before you made me fall asleep.” I put my head on his shoulder.
“Sorry, but you were tired and I didn’t think that was an appropriate time to have that discussion.” He kissed the top of my head.
“How about now?” I really wanted to know how he felt about this particular topic.
He sat so very still and silent for the next few minutes and I was afraid of what he might say, so I said it for him. “Look, Jasper you don’t have to feel guilty about not wanting to turn me. I understand.” I really didn’t. What was it about me that didn’t make me vampire material?
He shifted me so that he could look into my eyes. Oh, great now he was going to dazzle me into rejection. I looked down. “Sweetheart, look at me,” he took my chin in his hand and tilted my head up, “I would want nothing more then to keep you with me forever, as I am an extremely selfish being, but I wouldn’t do it until I was absolutely sure that it was what you really wanted. Immortality isn’t always a gift and it usually isn’t a choice, but in your case it would be exactly that. Your choice and I would be willing to do it, but not now.”
“I do want to be with you, I’m certain of it.” I would beg if I had to.
“Bella, it wasn’t too long ago that you wanted that life with someone else, and I’m not saying that I’m a substitute because you don’t make me feel that way, but you have to be sure. There can be nothing left unresolved. I know you are trying, but you are going to have to get over those issues that he left you with because eternity is too long to carry them. Eventually, you will have to say his name and talk about him and I will be with you every step of the way, proving to you that I’m not him and I will never leave you.”
“I know, Jasper.” I could never compare the two of them because the similarities truly ended at their physical features.
“I have another condition. I think that if you were going to become like me then you would also have to resolve your issues with your parents. I will help you.
Reconcile with them because if you don’t you will carry that pain into your new life with you. I have felt the emotions of many of my kind and while most human memories fade some do stick with you forever. I believe that you would carry the guilt about your failed relationships with Charlie and Renee with you for an extremely long time and that is something I could not bare to watch.”
“So, if I get past these issues and I tell you that this is what I really want you will do it? We can be together forever?” I was hopeful again.
“You have my word that I will make you like me, and we will spend the rest of our existence together. I love you, Isabella Swan and I always will.”
“Jasper, I know what I want, but I’ll do what you are asking of me, because I know that for us to have a truly happy life together I need to overcome my past. I love you and now that I know you want me forever everything else will be easy.”
He took my face in between his hands and slowly kissed my lips. How could this have happened? I had this perfect man who was willing to give me everything I wanted. My life had changed for the better in a matter of a month and I knew that only good things were going to happen from now on. He kept kissing me and I knew he sensed my hope and happiness, but now that we were so close to one another and having his lips on mine, he was about to feel something else from me.
“Oh, Bella are you thinking nasty things about me?” He bit my bottom lip.
“Actually, I’m thinking about all of the nasty things you could be doing to me.” I bit him back. He scooped me up and threw me on the bed.
“Let’s play.” He growled.
Chapter 9: Chapter 9
I was impatiently waiting outside the bookstore for Bella to finish her shift so that I could take her home. I couldn’t wait to see her and always found this time of the night the most difficult because I knew we would be together very soon, but the waiting drove me crazy. Over the past few weeks she had spent most of the nights at my house and it was becoming so natural to have her there with me. We were starting to fall into a familiar routine and I liked it. I was finding it rather difficult to be away from her for any length of time like when she was in class or working. I couldn’t do much about the classes we weren’t in together, at least not for this semester, but I had wanted to talk to her about the bookstore. She didn’t need to be there as it only took away from our time together. I certainly had enough money for both of us to live very comfortably for the next several decades, but she was so stubborn and independent that I wasn’t sure she was going to see it my way. I guess I could always try to dazzle her into quitting.
Suddenly, I felt the anxiety and frustration coming from her from inside the bookstore. This was the fourth time I could feel those emotions coming from her when she was inside that store. It didn’t seem like Bella to get that way with a customer and besides these emotions seemed to be more dominate when she was leaving. Something was bothering her in there. I wanted to ask her about it, but the feelings only lasted a few minutes and then as soon as she saw me they disappeared. I didn’t want to pry or make her feel that I was constantly monitoring how she felt, so I just let it go, but tonight these feelings were stronger then before and now they were colored with fear. I couldn’t let that go.
I walked into the store and saw her standing in front of the counter talking to a co-worker. He had his hand on her wrist, but she was trying to move away from him.
“Jack, I’ve asked you not to touch me.” She tried to break free.
“Come on, you know you like it.” He leaned in closer to her and playfully tugged at her hair.
Well, Jack lets see how you like it when I touch you. I walked toward them as the anger built inside of me. I couldn’t tolerate anyone touching her, especially if she didn’t want them to.
“Please let go! I told you I’m meeting Jasper outside,” she pleaded.
“Enough with the imaginary boyfriend already. Let me take you out and show you what a real boyfriend can do.”
“No!” More frustration came from her. He wasn’t listening to he, and what was worse, I could feel his desire for her. I could kill him.
“Bella,” I said. “What’s taking you so long to finish up tonight?”
As soon as she saw me relief washed over her. “Jasper, you’re here.”
“Of course I am. Where else would I be?” I glared at Jack who still had his hand on my Bella. He released her arm. Smart move, Jack. I felt his confusion.
Bella moved away from him and came to stand as close to me as she could. She knew that my anger could get the better of me and she wanted to soothe me. She put her arms around my neck, kissed me and whispered, “I’m okay. You don’t have to do anything.”
“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” I asked.
“Jasper this is Jack, Jack this is my boyfriend, Jasper. The one I always tell you about.” She was anxious again.
“Nice to meet you, Jack.” I continued to stare at him and felt good knowing I was making him very uncomfortable.
“Jasper, nice to finally meet you. I was beginning to think that you didn’t exist.” He shot Bella a look.
“Yes, well here I am. Bella and I are old friends from Washington.”
“Jasper, why don’t you come to the back with me so I can get my jacket?” She took my hand.
“Actually, Bella I think I’ll wait here for you this way I can get acquainted with Jack.” I felt her anxiety.
She said in a low voice that was meant for only me, “That’s not necessary.” Her eyes were pleading.
“Please sweetheart, go get your things. I promise I’ll behave.” I gently squeezed her hand.
She hesitated, but knew she wasn’t winning this one. “I’ll be right back.”
I turned to look at Jack who had now retreated behind the counter and I was happy he put some distance between us as it would now be easier to keep my promise to Bella.
“So, Jack how are you?” I asked very calmly.
“I’m fine, but I can’t wait to get out of here.” He was anxious.
“Yes, Bella feels the same way, but you seem to hold her up every evening, and I don’t like to wait for her any longer then I have to.”
He was surprised at my directness. “I didn’t realize that she had anything important to get to. I mean she doesn’t have any friends and I really did think she was making you up.” He was uncomfortable now.
“Well, obviously she wasn’t, but even if I didn’t exist it really isn’t nice to place unwanted advances on a lady, wouldn’t you agree, Jack?” I moved closer to the counter slamming both of my hands on it, leaning toward him. My only motivation for this little exercise in intimation was hearing Bella tell him that she had asked him not to touch her before. Before? How many times had he put his hands on her? Touching her was unacceptable and I would let him know it.
“Jasper, listen I don’t know what Bella told you, but I thought she wanted me to be aggressive with her. She seemed to be playing hard to get and I have been stepping up my game with her. After all, she is hot and who wouldn’t want a piece of that? I’m sorry, but now I know that she is with you, so I’ll step off.”
As if I needed anything else. Aggressive with her? How aggressive? I could feel the venom pooling in my mouth and I was sure my eyes were getting darker by the second. I pulled my lips back over my teeth and I could feel a spike of fear come over my prey. I must have looked extremely terrifying to him as this was one of the reasons humans usually shied away from my kind. “You’ll do more then step off. You’ll avoid her completely.”
“How can I do that? We work practically the same shifts.” He began backing away from me. I just kept staring at him the way an animal would just before it was about to strike. My intimidation was working because his heart rate began to pick up. I didn’t do it often these days, but I could use my power to invoke terror as well. It was a handy tool when I was fighting for Maria’s territory or when I needed to incapacitate a human prey just before the kill.
“Then I guess you’ll have to rearrange the schedule. If I find out that you have talked, touched or even seen Bella after this conversation I’ll be back and we’ll do more than casually talk. Do you understand?”
He didn’t speak. He just shook his head in agreement.
“Fear is a good emotion to have Jack. It shows me you’re smart.”
“Is everything okay?” Bella asked, as she came over and took my hand.
“Yes, Jack and I were just discussing his new work hours. Isn’t that right?”
“What new hours?” She asked.
“I think from now on I will be taking the weekend shifts and the nights, when you are not here.” He said as he walked to the back of the store.
She looked at me with confusion. “Why is he changing his schedule?”
“Because I told him to.” I led her out of the store and to my car. I opened the door for her. “Get in.”
I used the time it took to get from the passenger door to the driver’s side to calm myself down. I was beginning to realize that I was angry that she had kept this from me. I was sure she had a good reason, but I needed to let her explain without taking my frustration out on her. I got in.
“Can we go to your house tonight?” She asked. I could feel she was afraid I might say no.
“Is that where you want to go?” Stop it! Let her explain.
“Of course, unless you don’t want me there.”
“Bella, I want you there everyday.”
“You’re upset. It’s because of Jack, right? I don’t know what he told you, but I have done nothing with him.”
“Don’t you think I know that? Can you tell me what I walked in on?” I was driving much faster than I should be, but I wanted to get her home.
“Jack has been interested in me for a while and obviously I have never reciprocated, but the more I said no the stronger his advances became.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have put a stop to it much sooner.”
“That’s what I was afraid of. I thought I could handle it without involving you. I wasn’t sure how you would react, but obviously I was wrong.”
“Well, I couldn’t handle it, but I should have had more faith in you. I was afraid that if you knew what he was doing you might…”
“Kill him? I could have, but I wouldn’t have done that to you.”
“I’m sorry. I was just trying to avoid a big mess, but it seems as though I’ve made one anyway.”
“Well, not entirely a big mess, but a mess none the less. Bella, you have to trust me and be honest with me. If someone is upsetting or hurting you I should know about it. If you would have told me that you wanted to handle it I would have let you, and then if you couldn’t do it on your own I would have taken care of it for you, without killing anyone.” We were at the house now, so I got out and opened her door for her.
“Jasper, I’m sorry. You’re right, I should have told you what was going on, but I appreciate that you would have been willing to let me deal with it first. I just thought with your past and the way Edward was with me you would have taken matters into your own hands.”
I couldn’t believe it. She said his name and there wasn’t any fear, anxiety or nausea. This was progress. Now, if she could only see that I wasn’t him that would be better, but I guess baby steps were as good as we were going to get tonight. We walked into the living room and sat on the sofa.
“Bella, I will never tell you what to do. I might suggest and coerce a little, but I will let you make your own decisions. I will not tolerate anyone but me touching you, so if that ever happens again you have to tell me immediately, but I will not over react and kill anyone. Okay?” I stroked her cheek.
“How did you handle Jack that way? He was terrified of you.”
“Oh and how do you know that if you were in the back?”
“Well … I…” she was nervous and embarrassed.
“Ah Bella, I knew you were watching us. I could sense you. But you should never be around me when I ‘m like that. It could be far too dangerous for you.”
“You would never hurt me.” She kissed me softly. “You didn’t answer my question though.”
“Well, wouldn’t you be terrified if a frightening vampire was in your face?”
“Aren’t you in my face now? Are you feeling any fear?”
“Fear, no. A few other things, but certainly no fear.”
“Well, I know vampires exist, but Jack doesn’t so he just thought you were an enraged boyfriend. Why did he do what you asked so easily?”
“I can dazzle in other ways and I can use my emotions to evoke all sorts of reactions.”
“Hmm … sounds very interesting. “ She kissed me again.
“Remind me to show you sometime.” I licked her bottom lip. “You taste too good.” I started kissing her neck, working my way down to the hollow of her throat just above her breasts.
“Wait!” She tried to pull away.
“That’s not the reaction I was looking for. Do I need to send some lust your way?”
“No, I want you all on my own.”
I pulled her closer to me and blew in her ear and then nibbled on her earlobe working my way back down her neck. Her breathing was beginning to pick up, but she pulled away again. “You know, you are starting to bruise my ego.”
“I want to talk to you about something.” She was anxious.
“Now? Really?” It must have been important.
“I don’t want to lose my nerve.” She bit her bottom lip.
She was too sexy for her own good and it was going to take every bit of my restraint not to ignore her request and take her right there on the couch. “You don’t have to be afraid to tell me anything. Didn’t we just get past that?”
“Jasper, you like when I’m here, right?”
“Of course I do. If it were up to me you would be here all of the time.”
“Well, that’s sort of what I wanted to ask you.” Her heart rate began to pick up again and then I felt all of these emotions building within her; insecurity, embarrassment, anxiety, fear. This was ridiculous. I put my hands on her shoulders and calmed her down.
She blushed, “I’ll just say it.”
“Please.” I was getting anxious.
“I want to move in with you. I can’t stand being away from you for even the smallest amount of time. I think about you every second of the day and I want to be with you. Always.”
It was like she was reading my thoughts. I had wanted to ask her that same thing but I was afraid that she would think I was being too controlling. “Of course I want you here. I need you here. I would have asked you myself, but I didn’t want you to think I was trying to take away your independence.”
“I’m learning that being so stubborn doesn’t always work to my advantage, and I’m beginning to see that I like when you take care of me.”
I realized that I might not get this window of opportunity again, so I might as well go for it. “Bella, I am going to take care of you forever and I would like for you to start letting me do that now.”
“You already do. You are always there for me when I need you.”
“Emotionally, yes, but I want you to let me start giving you the life you deserve.”
“What do you mean?”
“This has nothing to do with what happened tonight as I have wanted to suggest this for a few weeks now, but I want you to stop working at the bookstore.”
“Bella, don’t argue with me. You can’t make that much money there anyway and if you quit it will give you more time to concentrate on your classes. Obviously, I could cover any expenses you have.”
“No, I couldn’t let you do that.”
“Were you planning on paying me rent?”
“Well, no,” she ran her fingers through her hair and fidgeted a bit. “Charlie pays for my apartment, and I don’t think I could tell him that I’m moving in with you. He doesn’t even know about us yet.”
“Bella, I don’t want your rent, but my point is that you would live here for free, so why can’t I support you completely?” I had her now.
“I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem right.”
“You’ve already agreed to spend eternity with me.”
“You’ll let me end your life, but you won’t let me spend my money on you? I thought you weren’t going to be stubborn anymore? Do I have to make you agree to this?”
“I appreciate what you are offering, but I don’t know.”
“Okay, fine, keep your job at the bookstore if it makes you feel better, but I’m allowed to spend my money on you as I wish and that means extravagant presents. Agreed?” I didn’t want to argue anymore because I had other things on my mind. I moved back to her ear, “Now where were we?” I nibbled on her ear lobe as I began unbuttoning her shirt.
“I didn’t agree.” Her breathing had picked up as she started twisting her fingers through my hair.
“You don’t have a choice. We just compromised. I’ll let you move in, you keep your job and I get to treat you the way you should be treated.” I slipped her shirt off and slid her bra straps over her shoulders, stopping to place kisses on them. I stood, pulling her up to me. She fastened her mouth to mine and parted her lips for my tongue. I unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor. I rubbed her breasts in the palms of my hands, tugging lightly on her nipples. She moaned as I kissed her neck. I took her hand and began to lead her up the steps when she reached around my waist with her free hand and began to roughly rub my erection.
She kissed the back of my neck as she whispered, “Jasper, I want you so bad.” She kept moving her hand over me and if she continued at this pace it would be over before we even started.
“Oh, baby, we’re not going to make it to the bedroom, not even at vampire speed.” I turned to face her as she began to unbutton my pants. She reached inside my boxers, took me in her hand and continued to stroke lengthening her movements.
“Bella, it feels so good when you touch me.” I unbuttoned her jeans and lowered the zipper, “Turn around.” I didn’t wait for her response as I turned her around and leaned her over the sofa. I felt a jolt of nerves from her which was clearly a factor of this new position. “It’s okay, sweetheart. If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.” I slid her jeans and panties down her legs and adjusted her feet so that she could step out of them. I slowly moved my hands back up her calves, thighs and backside, gripping her hips as I kissed the back of her neck. I reached into my pocket; luckily I had what I needed in my wallet for these such emergencies. I lowered my pants and boxers taking a few seconds to rub my erection against her waiting, wet entrance. She took in a sharp breath at the contact and her heart rate began to accelerate. “Arch your hips for me.” She did as I asked, as I slowly pushed my way into her, reaching around her waist and spreading her entrance wider for me. She was tense, but I knew she just needed some time to get used to this new angle. I gripped her hips hard, feeling bad that I was leaving a fresh set of bruises for tomorrow, but I was too caught up in the moment to stop. I pushed all the way into her and I couldn’t believe how amazing a sensation that was. She let out a quick breath. I was so deep inside her now and I hoped that she wouldn’t ask me to stop. I began slamming into her as hard as I could without going too far. I noticed her knuckles were white as she gripped the back of the sofa for support, but she wasn’t complaining so I continued at this pace. It was a very primal feeling that she was unleashing in me and I liked it.
“Oh, Bella … baby, I’m almost there.” I knew that she wasn’t going to get a chance to benefit from this experience, but I would make up for that later. Right now I needed to be this close to her, needed to feel her, needed to claim her. I wanted to fill her so completely, to be as close to her as I possibly could and with one last quick thrust I let go. Every time we made love I swore it couldn’t get any better, but of course I was always wrong because it always felt even better then the last time we were together. I was falling deeper and deeper in love with her, and I knew that she had altered me so completely, and now I would never be able to survive without her.
I gently pulled out of her and felt her knees begin to buckle. I put my arms around her waist to support her.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” I asked, as I quickly pulled up my pants.
She let out a huge breath and pressed her back into my chest. I picked up my young, spent girlfriend and cradled her in my arms. She snuggled into my neck, “Jasper?”
“Yes, baby?” She was exhausted, so I carried her up the steps.
“That was fantastic.” I knew she was blushing without even seeing her face. “We were so close. I can’t imagine us ever being apart now.”
“We’ll never have to be. Welcome home my sweet Bella.” I gently placed her in our bed, knowing she would never spend another night away from me.
Wow… that was a long one for me. Hope you liked it! Some of you have been waiting for the appearance of our favorite vampire family … stay tuned for the next chapter. Thanks!
Chapter 10: Chapter 10
I sat on the couch trying to figure out a way to block these particular visions. If it were physically possible for me to have a headache this would certainly do it. I closed my eyes and took a couple of unnecessary breaths … yoga, meditation, aromatherapy, hell, I’d even try acupuncture at this point, but I just couldn’t seem to get these two out of my head.
“Oh, crap … not again.” I shook my head from side to side to unsuccessfully try and make it go away. Well, I might as well sit back and enjoy the vision … like I have a choice.
“Bella,” he called to her so lovingly. “Can you come down here, baby? I want to show you something.”
She came running down the steps and jumped into his waiting arms. She giggled. He slowly kissed her, as if he hadn’t seen her in days. He truly missed her and she had only been upstairs. He put her down and led her out to the backyard to the detached garage.
“Are we going somewhere?” She asked.
“No, but I just wanted to show you that you could, if you wanted to.” He entered the code into the keypad and the garage doors opened. She looked at him questioningly. “After you,” he motioned for her to step into the garage.
She was shocked. “Where did this come from?” She pointed to the brand new black Mercedes SUV that wasn’t even on the market yet, but was parked in the spot next to his BMW.
“I bought it for you,” he smiled.
“What? Why? I can’t…”
“Bella,” he put his finger up to her lips. “We agreed that I could give you presents.”
“Yes, but I was thinking more along the lines of a book or a blu-ray, not an SUV that cost more than my father’s house.”
“Really Bella, let’s not be extreme.”
“Have you seen his house?”
He laughed as he pulled her close to him. “I thought now that you were living here that maybe you might like to take a ride into town sometime or if on the off chance that the weather is nice and I couldn’t go to class you could drive to school yourself.”
“Are you saying I can’t drive that?” She pointed to his car.
“Well, I guess if you really wanted to you could.” He ran his hand through his hair and became unusually nervous for a vampire.
“Jasper, I’m kidding.”
“Good, because that’s my car and this is yours. Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful. I don’t know what to say. I’ve never had anything so new before.”
“You do now.” He scooped her up into a hug and then kissed her passionately. This was a man in love and a woman who equally returned his feelings.
She broke away. “Thank you, I love it.”
“You’re welcome, but you haven’t even seen the inside.” He handed her the keys. “I love you.” He kissed her again.
“As much as I love you?” She asked.
“More!” He opened the driver’s side door for her.
“Alice…Alice…” Hearing the sound of my name was pulling me from the vision, but as much as I didn’t like seeing them together I didn’t want to go because it was the only link I had to him.
“In here, Esme.”
She walked into the living room. “How come you didn’t answer me?”
“I was lost in a vision, I guess.”
“Not for me.”
She walked over, sat beside me and put her arms around me. I was so lucky to have her and Carlisle in my life. If it weren’t for the two of them I didn’t know how I would have survived these past two years much less these past few months when the visions of Jasper and Bella started, not that they knew about them, but they did know that something was bothering me. “Do you want to talk about it, sweetie?”
“No thanks Esme. It’s nothing.” I knew she wouldn’t push because I heard Carlisle tell her that I would have to tell them in my own time and he was right. I couldn’t risk anyone finding out about what was going on in Alaska because that would blow what was left of this family apart.
She rubbed my arm. “I told Carlisle we shouldn’t have come back to Forks. There are too many memories.”
“No matter where we go there are always going to be memories, besides you love this house and Carlisle loves that hospital. I’ll be fine, maybe I’ll enroll in design school again. The fashions have changed so much since the last time I was there.”
“Do you want to do a trip to Paris? Check out the runway shows?”
“That sounds great, Esme. You plan it.” Yes, I really was lucky to have her. “Oh, what did you want?”
“Oh, I almost forgot. This should cheer you up. It seems that your vision of Edward coming back to visit us is about to come to fruition. He called and said he will be home in the next few weeks. He really misses you.”
“That’s great. Can’t wait.” I said, less than enthusiastically.
“Alice? What now?” She was very concerned for me.
“Nothing, mom! I really do miss him.” She kissed my forehead.
“I’ll be in Carlisle’s study planning our trip aboard because I feel you really could use it.” She went upstairs.
It wasn’t as if I didn’t want Edward to come home. I missed him terribly, but how the hell was I going to keep him out of my head? It was one thing for me to see the two of them together, but it would be an entirely different thing for him to see them. He would never accept it. Jasper and Bella’s bond was getting stronger with each vision and at this point not even Edward could come between them. If he found out he would lose control; I didn’t need a vision to see that. But, since I hadn’t had a vision of him killing them both then maybe I would be able to keep my thoughts to myself. I hoped. I just needed to figure out how to stop those visions. I had done it before when we first left Forks. I didn’t see Jasper or Bella for almost two years, but right before the summer had ended they showed up in my head together. It has been torture for me and I knew I had to spare Edward.
Later that afternoon Carlisle came home from the hospital and came straight for me. Obviously, he had spoken to Esme.
“Alice,” he called.
“Hey Carlisle, how was your day?”
“Very exciting. A bus accident, so lots of broken bones to fix.”
“Yes, no one seriously injured, but a busy day none the less.” He sat down next to me.
“You talked to Esme and I already know she is concerned about me.”
“Yes, Alice she is. Can you talk about it?”
I wanted to, but now with Edward coming home there was no way that I could involve Carlisle. I couldn’t ask him to keep those thoughts away from Edward too. “It’s nothing bad or anything that I didn’t see coming, but I just don’t want to share right now. I’m sorry.”
“Alice, don’t apologize. They are your thoughts and your visions and if you say no one is in danger then I won’t push you, but I will be here when you are ready to discuss this.” I leaned my head on his shoulder.
“Thanks, Carlisle. It really does mean so much to me.”
“Esme and I love you, and we’ll do anything in our power to get you through whatever this is. I bet you are glad Edward is coming home.”
“Yes, you must be happy, too. I know you miss him.”
“I do, very much, but I just hope time has healed some things for him. I know he will never fully get over Bella, but he can’t go through the rest of his existence missing her.” He shook his head.
“No, I guess not.”
“And, you can’t go through the rest of yours missing Jasper either.”
“Not now Carlisle, please.” I didn’t want to get into that right now.
“I’m sorry dear, but I know it has something to do with him.”
“My thoughts, my visions, remember?”
“I’m sorry.” He hugged me.
“I know you mean well.” I reached up and kissed his cheek.
We sat like that for a while. It was very comforting to have him there. He truly was the most compassionate being I had ever encountered, and I didn’t want to do anything that could break apart his family. The three of us were already here, Edward was on his way and Rose and Emmett would be home for winter break in two months. The only one missing was Jasper, but I didn’t really see how he fit into this equation anymore. He and Bella would have to start their on family, and the Cullen’s could never know about it. Yea, right, like that was going to happen.
Chapter 11: Chapter 11
The evening started out much the same as it did every night; Bella would snuggle into the crook of my arm and fall fast asleep, often while we were in the middle of a conversation. I would usually read to pass the hours while she slept, but most of the time I was content to just stare at her and listen to her steady, even breathing. Most nights she barely moved, and always stayed as close to me as she possibly could. It seemed to soothe her, and I couldn’t imagine having it any other way. As the weeks progressed she seemed to become happier with her new life and that brought me great joy. She had changed me so completely, that I would do anything to make her feel loved and needed.
She was the only being I would ever need or could ever want. It was as if I had been looking for her my entire life. It wasn’t as if I didn’t love Alice. When I was with her, I would have died for her, but I never felt at peace. I seemed to always be struggling with my inner demons, always being the weakest link of the Cullen clan, never fully understanding my purpose. And, then there was Bella … a clumsy, self-conscious human who appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and changed it all for me. Of course, she wasn’t mine at first, and I never even so much as glanced at her in an improper way. As a matter of fact, I strongly encouraged Edward to stop seeing her, and I was the one who was willing to end her life on more then one occasion; first when Edward pushed her out of that van’s path and almost exposed us for what we were, and then the night of her eighteenth birthday, but fate always seemed to intervene.
As the hours passed she became a bit more restless then usual. Her breathing was congested, and her body temperature seemed to become more elevated. She kept moving closer to me, hitching her leg over mine, and I realized she was trying to cool herself down. I put my hand on her forehead, figuring that would be better than any cold compress. She was burning up. I wasn’t sure what I could do for her, because I had never dealt with a human on the verge of catching a cold. I just wrapped my body around her, hoping that would help. Then she mumbled in her sleep, and that was something she hadn’t done since those first nights I was perched outside her window. I wanted to pretend I didn’t hear it, but of course I heard everything, and then she said it again.
“Edward…” She thrashed against my chest. Hearing her call to him in her dream was excruciating; it caused me more pain then the sting of any vampire’s venom ever could. What would make her dream of him after all of this time?
She spoke again, and I knew I should have pushed her deeper into slumber, but I needed to hear what would come out of her mouth next. “Edward… if you leave me here in the forest…”
She was dreaming of the night he shattered her, and left her so broken it took her years to recover. Why was her subconscious mind making her do it, and why did I have to be here to witness it?
“If you leave me in the forest all alone, eventually Jasper will find me.” She tried to inch closer to me, but she was already practically on top of me as it was. “Jasper… it was always supposed to be Jasper.”
I kissed the top of her head. “That’s right baby, I’ll always find you.” Well, that was a relief to say the least. Maybe she was letting go of Edward, once and for all. And if she could finally do that, then I would fulfill my end of our deal and turn her. There was nothing I would want more, than to know that she would be mine for all of eternity.
“Jasper?” She was awake now. “I don’t feel very well. I’m hot and achy and my chest hurts.” She started to cough.
“It’s okay ,sweetheart. I’ll go get you some juice, and see what I bought when I stocked the medicine cabinet for you.” I started to get up, but she held on to my arm.
“Wait, I just had the strangest dream. I was in the forest, but I wasn’t afraid or desperate. This time I knew you were coming for me, and it was like I should have always known that you would be with me.”
“I will always be here. I love you.”
“As much as I love you?” She asked.
“More.” I tried to get up again, but she wouldn’t let go. “Bella, I have to get what you need.” She sat up and put her arms out.
“Take me with you. I’m so hot, that I can’t stand to have your skin away from mine.” I scooped her up and carried her to the kitchen with me. Was there anything I could deny her? Probably not.
She was extremely uncomfortable while her body waited for the cold medicine to kick in. She moved all over the bed, and kicked the covers off when she became too hot, usually when the fever was at its highest. I would pull her back to me and cool her down, but then she would get the chills, and I would have to bury her in several blankets and sit at the foot of the bed. I didn’t like that at all. This went on for over two days; aches and pains, fever, chills, congestion, runny nose, sore throat … it was driving me crazy, watching her suffer this way. Occasionally, I tried to send her some lethargic vibes, but they would only last an hour or so and then she would be up and uncomfortable again.
By Friday afternoon, her fever finally broke. Her face seemed to regain some of its natural color, and her skin was no longer on fire. She began to stir. “Bella, are you feeling better?” I pushed the sweaty hair out of her face.
“Hmm… yes, what time is it?” She began stretching her body, because it was probably sore just from the lack of activity over the past few days.
“It almost three o’clock.”
She processed that for a second, and then shot up into a seated position. “Three … I slept all day? What about class?”
“Bella, you’ve been sleeping for almost three days.”
“I have? It hasn’t seemed that long. You’ve been with me the entire time?”
“Yes, I only leave to go to the kitchen to get you juice and soup, which you really haven’t been eating.”
“Jasper, you took care of me all of that time? I mean I know you’ve been here, because I felt your arms around me, but I had no idea it had been that long. I remember some conversations and I think we watched a movie, but I don’t remember much else.”
“You slept most of the time, we did attempt to watch a movie, but you were asleep before the opening credits, and yes, we did talk from time to time, but usually you weren’t that coherent.”
“What about class?”
“I called us both out, and have had most of our assignments e-mailed to us. Don’t worry, I’ll help you catch up. Been there and done that, remember?”
“Thanks for taking such good care of me.”
“I’m not done yet, as I’m sure it will take you a few days to regain your strength. Would you like to eat something, or maybe take a relaxing bath?”
“The bath sounds nice. Will you draw it for me?” She smiled.
“Do you expect anything less?” I softly kissed her lips, but she pulled away from me. “You know I hate when you do that.”
She stared into my black eyes, and traced the purplish bruises just beneath them with her fingertips. “You’re thirsty. You didn’t even leave to hunt.”
“I’m fine Bella, I’m finding that I can go longer without hunting and still be around you, but try not to cut yourself, just to be on the safe side.” I shot her a wicked grin.
“You go and hunt now while I’m in the tub, and by the time you are back, I’ll be ready to eat. Take care of you now, and worry about me later, please.”
As tempting as it was to give her what she wanted when she pleaded, I wasn’t ready to leave her yet; not even for an hour. “I don’t think so.” I gently pulled her up out of the bed, and led her to the bathroom. I turned the water on, adjusting it so it wouldn’t be too hot and poured in some of that floral bubble bath that always made her smell so luscious.
“Okay, now you’ve gotten that ready for me, but I can take it from here. Go hunt!” She pointed to the door.
I shook my head. “You’re still too weak, what if you slip and fall. I would never forgive myself.”
“Jasper, I fall all of the time.”
I began placing soft kisses along her jaw line, as I turned her around in front of me to face the mirror. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and began placing open mouth kisses on the back of her neck. I watched her reflection in the mirror, as she closed her eyes and sank deeper into my touch. Even though she had been in bed for days with a horrible cold, she was still the most exquisite looking creature. She just had this natural, pure beauty about her that made her so appealing to me. I slowly snaked my hands under her tank top and began rubbing her ribcage, while I continued to kiss her neck just below her ear. I removed my hands, and gently pulled the tank over her head, tossing it aside. I placed my hands over those perfect, firm breasts and began rubbing my palms over her hardened nipples, teasing them with my fingertips. She let out a small sigh and that stirred me, but I had to focus, or else I would never get her into that tub. I skimmed my hand down along her sides, grabbed the top of her waist band and slowly slid her pajama bottoms down her legs, rubbing my hands against her inner thighs. I turned her to face me and softly kissed her lips, as I pushed her body as close to mine as it could possibly get. I wanted to feel her soft skin against my body. I traced her spine with my fingers, stopping just before the band of her panties. I rubbed little circles at the tiny indentation there. She was so small and fragile compared to me. I placed my hands on either side of her hips, and slowly slipped her panties down around her ankles as she stepped out of them. I took a slight step back, so that I could take in the glory that was Bella. She blushed, but I couldn’t look away. I smoothly lifted her into the bath and turned off the faucet.
“Is the water okay, sweetheart?” I got down on my knees by her head, and began massaging her scalp.
“Mmm … it’s perfect. My body has been so achy, but now I feel so relaxed.”
“Good.” I leaned closer and kissed her neck. “Let me wash your hair for you.” I took the pitcher that was on the stand by the tub, and filled it with fresh water. “Put your head back.” She did as I asked, and I gently poured the warm water over her hair. I put some of her fruity shampoo in my hand, and began working it into her scalp. It smelled just like her and it reminded me of that first night I was in her bedroom, when the room was engulfed with her scent, and it made me think of how the bedroom we now shared also smelled just like her. Delicious. I kept rubbing the shampoo into her hair and scalp, as she was melting deeper into a relaxed state. I filled the pitcher with water and carefully rinsed her hair. It was so soft and silky. “How was that?” I ran my fingers through the ends of it.
“Fantastic. I never realized how wonderful it could feel to have someone else wash my hair.”
“I’m not just someone else.”
“No, you’re not. You are the most amazing person that I have ever met. I still don’t know how I got so lucky?”
“I’m the lucky one, because God knows in my long life, I’ve never done anything worthy of you.”
“That’s not true, but I’m too relaxed to argue, so let’s just call it a draw, and say we are both extremely lucky to have one another.” She scooped up some bubbles and blew them into my face. She giggled. What a lovely sound.
“Agreed. Why don’t you finish up in here while I go hunt, and then I’ll get your dinner?” I didn’t want to leave her, but if I did it now, then we would have the rest of the evening to be together.
“Don’t go far okay? I like knowing you’re close.”
“I’ll only go to the stream, and I’ll be back before you know it.” I bent down and kissed her. “I love you.”
“I love you, too” She put her hand on the back of my head and held me to her lips for a moment. “I’ll miss you.”
“Be careful getting out of the tub. I wouldn’t want you to fall and get hurt, because I have other things planned for you this evening. If you’re up to them, that is.” I smiled. As usual, she was blushing and speechless. I quickly slipped out of the bathroom and leaped off the balcony, into the yard. I took off running, because I needed to get back to my blushing beauty as soon as possible.
Chapter 12: Chapter 12
***The prodigal son has returned…
Forks…of all the places we had lived, and there had been many, this house always seemed to be the most like home to me. Maybe it was because it was Esme’s favorite residence, and she did more to make this place permanent for us or perhaps it was where I had been the happiest that I had ever been in my very long life, even if it was for such a brief time. Yes, Forks always made me think of Bella, not that there was ever a moment that she wasn’t on my mind, but here in this town, in this house, in this bedroom I had more tangible memories of her. The only reason I could come back here was because she wasn’t. I had Carlisle check it out for me, but I asked him not to give me any details because I didn’t want to be tempted to interfere with her life. I promised her I would leave her alone; a clean break as it were, and I didn’t want to go back on my word.
My return home was a pleasant one. Esme couldn’t stop hugging me, and telling me that I wasn’t allowed to leave her again. Carlisle was so proud of me, as usual, even though this was the sixth or seventh time, I had lost count, I had received a Master’s Degree in some form of science. He was hoping that, with my previous medical degrees, I would eventually join him in his profession, but it was kind of hard to be a doctor when I would always look like a teenager.
The one reaction that I was most surprised about was Alice’s. While she was very happy to see me, she appeared to be extremely distant, like she was trying to distract me with her thoughts. It seemed very strange that I wasn’t in the door twenty minutes, when she said that she had some errands to run and just left.
I went down the hall to her room but the door was closed and the music was on, so I decided to go to Carlisle’s study instead. He was buried in a pile of papers as I stood at the door way. He didn’t even have to look up because he sensed me, “Come in, Edward.” He finished writing his last thought down in his notes and then smiled at me. “It’s so good to have you home. Esme is beside herself. I hope you will treat her to some music tonight. She insisted we have the piano tuned before you returned.”
“Of course I will. Now that I’m finished with school again, I guess I could start composing.”
“She will be thrilled.”
“Carlisle, is everything okay with Alice?”
“You always were extremely observant. You saw her all of twenty minutes and you know that she is hurting. I guess you do have that extra insight, though.”
“That’s just it, I couldn’t read her. I mean frivolous things like going to Paris, enrolling in design school, and a new dress she saw in a department store, but nothing of any real significance. It was like she was deliberately trying to keep something from me.”
“Well, I’m sure she was.”
I looked at him questioningly.
“She has been having these visions for a couple of months that seem to be taking a major toll on her, but she refuses to discuss them. I’m trying not to push her, but the visions seem to be getting worse. I can’t make her tell me, and I was sort of hoping that you would be able to see them in her head, but I should have known she would be too smart for that.”
“Do you think we are in danger, and she won’t tell because she can’t figure out how to stop it?”
“No, she assured me that no one was in danger and that it was something that she had to deal with, which leads me to believe that it has to do with Jasper.”
“Has she made contact with him?”
“I don’t think so, but she misses him terribly.”
“You don’t think that he has stopped living our way of life, do you? Maybe that’s what Alice sees and it is too much for her. Do you know where he is? Maybe I should go to him? “
“No, son, we are not sure what Alice is seeing and we cannot interrupt Jasper’s life. That wouldn’t be fair. I do speak to him on occasion and Esme corresponds with him. Whenever he relocates he sends us his address, but I haven’t heard from him in a few months.”
“Is that unusual?”
“No, he will get in touch with me when he can.”
“I can’t help but feel that he left Alice because of me. I wasn’t very nice to him in those days after the incident with Bella.”
“Well, no one could blame you as it was a hard time for all of us, but it’s not your fault that Alice and Jasper parted ways. If they were truly meant to be each other’s mates, then they would have found a way to be together.”
“Maybe that’s what her visions are telling her, that reconciliation is in the works.”
“Perhaps, but I don’t think she would be conflicted about that.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because if you knew that there was a chance to recapture a lost love, would you not do everything in your power to make it happen?”
“I might not be the right one to ask that of.”
“Yes, Edward I believe you are exactly the right one to ask that of.” He didn’t speak the next words out loud, but I heard them none the less. “If you saw a chance, wouldn’t you do anything to get her back?”
I nodded in response. Then I got up to go see Alice.
Her door was still shut, so I knocked. “Alice, it’s Edward. Can I come in?” I knew she heard me even over the music. I knocked again.
“Oh crap,” she said in her head.
“Alice, I heard that!”
She opened the door. “I’m sorry Edward, it’s not you. I swear it’s just me.”
I walked in and sat on the bed. “I know, Carlisle explained to me about these visions you are struggling with.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to talk about it.” She kept chanting in her head.
“Alice, I respect your wishes and I will not press you. I promise I will do my best to try and stay out of your head.”
She jumped out of the chair, ran over and knocked me on to my back. “Thanks, Edward. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”
“The feeling is mutual, but could you get off of me now?” I playfully pushed her off.
“Sorry, I’ve just been so lonely here. I miss not having you, Rose, Emmett and Ja…” She stopped.
“It’s okay if you miss Jasper.” I kind of missed him too, it was very odd not seeing him a step behind Alice all of the time.
“It’s not like that. I just mean that we were all so happy for such a long time and I have so many good memories, that it’s just hard to let go of them.”
“I know what you mean. I think about Bella constantly. I keep thinking that someday it will get better, but it just seems to be my own personal hell. I sincerely hope that she has done better. I hope that what I did to her gave her a shot at a normal life.”
She had a strange look on her face and she started thinking nonsense thoughts again.
“That must be some dress you saw Alice because that is the only thing you seem to be thinking about.”
“Hey, you said you would stay out of my head.”
“No, I said I would try to stay out of your head but when you are trying so hard to block me, I can’t help but be drawn to your thoughts. Are you sure you can’t talk about it?”
“No, Edward I can’t! No one bothers you when you play the role of the tortured soul, so please let me have the title for awhile.” She was upset.
“I’m sorry Alice, if you say that you can’t talk about it now then I will wait, but know that I am here whenever you need me.”
“Thanks, I know you only want to help.”
“I hope you snap out of it soon, because you really don’t play the brooding vampire as well as I do.” We laughed, “Do you want to go for a hunt?”
“Absolutely!” We walked to the window.
“Ladies first,” I motioned with my hand. “Besides you’ll never be able to keep up with me without a head start anyway.”
“You’re still as smug as always.” With that she was out the window and in the forest. “Catch that!” She yelled.
“Oh Alice, have you forgotten I’m the fastest Cullen?” And out the window I went and past her within a second. Maybe things could get back to normal. Maybe she could find Jasper again. Then at least one of us would be happy.
The hunt and then the run afterward with Edward were extremely exhilarating. I hadn’t felt that refreshed in such a long time. It truly was wonderful having my brother back home, and I didn’t realize just how much I missed him, until tonight. But, all good things must come to an end and my pleasant evening was about to take a turn for the worse, as the two of them came crashing into my sight.
They were sitting on the back porch and Jasper was playing his guitar for Bella. The song was nothing familiar, just some casual strumming. She was resting her head on his shoulder and staring up at the stars. They were so content to just be in each other’s company.
“That’s really soothing. What is it?” She asked.
“Nothing really, I just made it up.”
“Well, remember it so you can play it for me again at another time.” She shivered.
“Are you ready to go in? I’d imagine you are cold.”
“Not yet, a few more minutes.”
He took his jacket off and put it over her. “I really don’t need it.”
She put it up to her face and breathed in his scent. He looked at her. “I can’t help it, you smell really good.”
“Is that why you have been stealing my jackets out of the closet and wearing them to school?”
“Well yes, that’s one reason.” She was embarrassed.
“What’s the other?” He sensed that she was uncomfortable. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“I seemed to have misplaced mine.” She blushed.
“You mean you lost it. Why don’t you just buy yourself a new one?”
“I keep hoping mine will turn up.” She was always so practical. “And, besides you have so many that you can’t possibly wear them all. You don’t even need one, it’s not like you are trying to get warm.”
“It’s all part of the illusion, darlin’, I can’t exactly walk around Alaska without a coat. It would draw unnecessary attention to me.”
She laughed, “People are always staring at you because you are so perfect. I doubt they would care if you weren’t wearing a coat, and they probably wouldn’t notice anyway, because they never get past your face.”
He didn’t even know how to respond to that. “Bella, take the credit card I gave you and buy a coat. You can use the card to put more than gas for your truck on it. Really, Bella, sometimes you are so absurd. If you don’t get one, I’ll just go out and buy it for you.”
“Jasper, I…” He interrupted her with a kiss. “You can’t distract me,” she said.
“Can’t I?” He put the guitar down, scooped her up in his lap and started kissing her jaw line, clearly a favorite spot of his. He worked his way to her ear, inserted his tongue and began swirling it around. The cool sensation sent a chill down her spine. He whispered, “You’ll buy the coat tomorrow.” He moved his hand down and began rubbing her inner thigh as he kissed her neck. “Or, you’ll face the wrath of a very angry vampire.” He moved his hand a little higher, inching dangerously close to the heat between her legs.
“Jasper,” she moaned. “I’m ready to go in now.” She grabbed his hair and pulled him to her lips. Without breaking the kiss, he picked her up and carried her into the house.
I shook my head violently from side to side, trying to pull myself from the vision. I really didn’t want to see what was coming next. I could take many things, but watching them having sex was not one of them. I was exhausted, if that were even possible, and while I couldn’t sleep, I needed to close my eyes and rest. I could hear Edward playing the piano for Esme downstairs and it helped to relax me. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. In other circumstances, I might actually enjoy the love story unfolding before me, but even I knew I shouldn’t be watching.
Stay tuned for a Jasper/Bella lemon in the next chapter…***
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