12 Sins of Christmas
Rating:NC-17, M Pairing:Jasper/Edward
Summary: Jasper is hiding his thoughts from Edward. Why? What will he do once Edward finds out exactly what he has been thinking?
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but wish Jasper were mine.
A/N: This is my first attempt at fanfiction and I hope you enjoy it. Please read and review, I would love the critique. This is full of lemons, and some light BDSM if this Squicks you out please do not read. A huge thank you to the absolute best beta in the world. Thank you Chloe for making this work as well as it does.
Twelve Sins of Christmas
Lately, I have been held captive by fantasies about my adopted brother. Every time Edward comes into a room I have to shield my thoughts by reciting generals from the Civil War. I can’t keep living this way.
I am listening to The Gift by Aselin Debison; it is one of my very favorite songs, because of its simple beauty. I am so wrapped up in the song and my thoughts that I don’t realize someone has entered my room until a hand touches my shoulder gently. I jump about six inches before realizing it’s Edward.
“Whoa there, Jasper! I was just coming to ask if you wanted to come down and help decorate the tree; you know how Alice is about all those things. She has really outdone herself this year.” Edward hasn’t released his hold on my shoulder and I am beginning to lose the battle to keep my thoughts neutral.
“Sure thing. I will be down shortly. Make sure to save some good ornaments for me.” I follow him to the door and slide it shut behind him, locking it while doing so. I wait a moment until he is downstairs and fully surrounded by the others’ thoughts. I let my most recent fantasy overtake me.
Edward is tied to the bed. He knows he can break the bonds as though they are paper. He doesn’t even try to fight as I stalk across the room. He knows the rules. He turns his head to the sound. Even blindfolded our senses are that sharp. He enjoys the waiting, we have been teasing around this for days, but finally he will have his release. I trail my hand down his chest, eliciting a sharp intake of unnecessary breath. I slide my hand closer to him and gently grasp him in my hand. He feels like a steel rod in my grip, I slowly slide my hand up and down, gripping him tighter.
I finish myself off to that image and quickly zip myself up to head downstairs.
Despite being a vampire I have always been especially fond of the Christmas holidays. The way people hold onto a silly notion such as Santa Claus, and yet don’t believe in vampires? It is a bit of an inside joke when everyone at school becomes excited about their parents giving them presents, and getting two weeks off of school. Though I don’t believe in Santa, I still find comfort in the fact that people try to do good during the holidays.
Our whole family is gathered around the twelve-foot evergreen. We look every bit the normal family at Christmastime. There is wrapping paper and lights along with ornaments galore. I chuckle quietly to myself at Alice’s glee at every holiday. She is truly unique when it comes to her joy for life. She is the only reason I found this wonderful family. She is my North Star, my own personal compass; without her I would have been forever lost.
Some movement catches my attention and I turn my eyes to Edward. Edward looks for all the world like a fallen angel. His hair is swept rakishly to the side, and I can feel my fingers begin to tingle with the urge to pull it tightly in my hand. I want him to look up at me with desire and some fear. Wondering if I’m going to give him pleasure or pain. I want him underneath me writhing in anticipation. I want to see his face twist up and hear him call my name in ecstasy. I bet he looks like sin when he climaxes. Hell, he looks like sin there in his v-neck sweater and jeans.
I have to get a hold of myself. I join the family in the decorating and have a fun evening joking around with Emmett and giving Rosalie a hard time. She is so easy to get worked up, it really is too funny. Carlisle and Esme ask Edward to play a few carols so we can all sing along as a family. It really is a perfect evening, even if I feel as though I am going to explode at any moment.
Alice looks at me as the singing is coming to an end and throws me a wink and a sly grin. I wonder what she has seen. As the music comes to an end she grabs me by the hand and drags me outside in the winter air.
“Hey Alice, what’s up?” I ask as we make our way into the woods surrounding the house. Her arm is looped casually through mine. She gives me a knowing smile and looks at me as though I’m being purposely obtuse. She always has me figured out before I’m ready to share. It’s like we share a brain, and it has been that way since we met.
“Jasper I think you know exactly what’s up. I have been wondering when we would have this conversation. To be honest I’m surprised it has taken you so long to come to terms with everything.” She starts to dance to music only she can hear, as I stand dumbfounded.
“You are surprised it’s taken me so long? I’ve only just started to quit making mistakes that cause the family to be uprooted; I’m still in shock that they haven’t kicked me out. And what conversation are we having exactly?” I raise an eyebrow daring her to say what I think she is about to say.
“The one about you and Edward of course. I have seen what happens. You know the family loves you in your own right, they love us both. They would never turn their backs on us. How are you going to handle this?” She asks sincerely. I feel as though we are having two very different conversations all rolled into one. Alice and I have been best friends ever since we met, but despite what we have led the family to believe we aren’t intimately involved. She saved me from the pit of despair that I was in when she found me. I would have given anything to keep her happy, when she told me about the Cullen’s and how this is what she wanted I could not deny her anything.
Alice is definitely into guys, but then again so am I. I just never wanted to have the family look at me weird, so I thought it best not to bring it up, Alice has always been understanding.
I start thinking through different scenarios, and the best way to approach him with my feelings. I don’t know that being aggressive is the way to go, but I want him to know upfront that I want something besides vanilla. I want him to understand that I plan to see him blindfolded and bound as I tease him until I am ready to give him release. Hell I don’t even know if he’s into guys. That could be a problem.
“Jasper? You in there? What are you thinking about?” Alice starts shaking her hand in front of my face. I blink slowly and look at her before I formulate an answer.
“Oh, just thinking about how I am going to figure out if I even have a shot with him before I tell the family.” I grin wickedly at her. She always loves “seeing” me be naughty. I think I know just how to feel Edward out. I am going to put my plan into action starting right now.
“Come on Alice I think I know how to find out if he would even be interested. I need to do something really quick.” I jog ahead of her into the house and up into the room before shutting the door.
I slowly strip while standing in front of the mirror. Despite my scars I’ve been told that I’m pretty good looking. I look at myself the whole time I am getting undressed. I notice things about myself that I rarely take time to notice. Like the way my hair has highlights of gold and lowlights of chocolate. I catch the way my eyes have a speckle of green in them, as though they fought to retain some of their original color. I touch the curve of my neck where it joins my shoulders; I slide my hand down to a pebbled nipple and caress it lightly. I tilt my head back slightly and slowly slide my hand towards the button on my jeans. I catch the edge and pull down, sliding my jeans to my ankles. I am dressed in only my boxers at this point, and I turn in a circle to look at one of my best assets. High and tight, I have a nice ass if I do say so myself. I take my boxers off gently and kick them out of the way. I am finally naked.
I want to close my eyes, but I know that would ruin the whole point. I look at myself in the mirror as I touch myself in ways that I love; teasing my nipples and grasping myself firmly. I twist my hand around my cock, squeezing as tightly as I can stand. I sigh at the touch; it’s been so long since I indulged in a languid study of my body. I pull at my cock lazily, enjoying the sensation as I think about who I really want doing this. I imagine Edward on his knees in front of me looking up at me with his sinfully sweet eyes. I look back at the mirror and I begin rhythmically working myself. I easily bring myself to the edge. I am so close that it is hard not to bring myself off, especially when I think about what I’m going to do with this image later. I swiftly bring my fist up and down my cock spreading precome down as I go. With that little bit of moisture my fist starts fairly flying as I bring myself to orgasm. I fight to keep my eyes on myself in the mirror as my whole body jerks in the aftermath. I watch as I coat the mirror lightly with myself. I sink to my knees.
I slowly get to my feet, wrap a towel around my waist, and head to the bathroom to take a shower. I can hear everyone downstairs joking and picking on Alice about how big the tree is compared to her. It’s true, at 4’10” she is less than half the size of the tree, but that’s how she likes it. I make it to the bathroom and hop into the shower, turning the water up as hot as it goes. I lather up my hair and rinse it out while thinking about my strategy for getting Edward into my bed, up against a wall, or bent over a desk. To be honest I’m not terribly picky about when and where as long as it happens.
I wash myself from head to toe with my favorite body wash and loofah. I start singing quietly to myself. We Three Kings is another favorite, and I think I sing pretty decently. I hear someone coming upstairs and wonder if it’s time to put my plan into action. I listen closely and realize it must be my lucky day, because sure enough it is Edward walking down the hall toward his room. His room just so happens to share a wall with the bathroom.
I start to remember. I let bits and pieces of what I just did filter slowly into my conscious thoughts. I let pictures of myself fully clothed, halfway clothed, and completely naked mingle together in one big melting pot. I didn’t think about it in order. In reality you rarely ever think about an event in a linear pattern. Instead you think about things in pieces. I slowly work my way up to showing him the final image of me completely lost to orgasm. I imagine that image as clearly as I can. Finally, I picture myself as I reached release.
I am sitting at my desk, in the kind of statue-like silence that unnerves humans, thinking about the evening and waiting for the bathroom to be free.
Most nights I spend time with everyone, but tonight I had just wanted to take a long, hot shower, indulge in some personal time and write some music. The Christmas holidays always seem to inspire me to create.
I had walked up the stairs, heard the shower running, and realized that Jasper must have disappeared upstairs after he and Alice had their talk. I could have taken a shower in one of the other three bathrooms, but my best-smelling shampoo was in the one Jasper was currently occupying.
I had had quite a bit of fun with the family as we set up the Christmas decorations. Alice always has such a blast at every single holiday of the year. Personally Christmas is my favorite because we all get together and sing carols as a family. I love playing the piano as the family sings at my back. It is even better than a real family because we all choose to be with each other. I was a little surprised when Alice pulled Jasper out into the woods, but it seemed as though she had a vision right before that.
Despite what everyone thinks, I don’t barge in on every single thought of my family members. Decades of hearing Esme’s worrying, Rosalie and Emmett’s lurid sexual encounters, and the occasional but sincere frustration over the fact that I can hear their every secret has taught me to give my family members as much privacy as possible. For their sanity and mine.
However, I can’t help but notice Jasper shielding from me lately. I’m not sure what to think about that. Everyone in the family shields from me at some point in time. Around my “birthday” everyone thinks about socks when I’m around. It’s a good way to keep presents a surprise; however as a general rule they just think whatever they would normally be thinking. Emmett thinks about trucks and weightlifting, Alice thinks about clothes and shopping, Carlisle thinks about patients, Esme thinks about charity work, Rosalie thinks about…well she’s pretty diverse, and Jasper generally thinks about peoples’ emotions and how he is coping.
Lately though, Jasper has been repeating the same generals over and over again anytime I enter the room.
My curiosity about this getting the better of me, I shift my thoughts from this evening and start listening for Jasper’s thoughts. I am shocked to realize Jasper is thinking about himself in some very erotic ways. This is one of those things you can’t avoid when you see what others are thinking. Over time you get used to it, and don’t feel like such a voyeur. Normally I try to head out when people are having intimate moments. Now, however, I am a little intrigued because Jasper has never thought of sex; not with Alice, and not by himself.
I watch as Jasper envisions himself going from completely dressed to completely naked, and then as he begins pleasuring himself. It is really arousing to watch someone else as they touch themselves, while watching in a mirror. Jasper is lithe and lean and very long in some areas. I can’t help but get aroused. Jasper is definitely on my radar now.
As the scene in Jasper’s mind becomes more frantic, I ease my hand into my pants and tug firmly at myself. I am hard as steel and I began squeezing to avoid coming too soon. It has been so long since I have had a male visual to get off on. Jasper may be covered in scars, but he looks strong and masculine as he touches himself surely. I imagine him standing over me and talking dirty into my ear. I imagine him calling me a slut and making me suck him off. I picture his cock running over my lips as he tells me what a good cocksucker I am. I just want someone to dominate me. I want someone strong enough to tie me down and tempt me. I come to the image of Jasper’s face screwed up in orgasm.
I hear the water being turned off. I strip down and throw a towel around my waist. I head out to the hallway and walk right into Jasper as he is making his way out of the bathroom. If I could blush I would have. Jasper smirks and walks across the hall into his room. I wonder if he knows I watched his thoughts.
As I turn off the shower and wrap the towel back around myself, I am bombarded by Edward’s lust and satisfaction. He feels relaxed and satiated which means my plan is working far better than I could have hoped. I had no idea Edward would be turned on by little ole’ me. For some vampires I am a nightmare to look at. Human eyes can’t detect the myriad of scars that cover my body from the newborn wars I participated in; but to a vampire they look like vicious bite marks covering me from head to toe. A vampire’s venom will scar a vampire and it burns like hell while you endure the pain.
I walk towards my room and begin humming to myself. This year I might get exactly what I want for Christmas. It’s a good thing it doesn’t really matter if you are naughty or nice, because I plan on being extremely naughty. I sit at my desk and begin writing; it always seems to help get my thoughts in order and it serves as a way to help me remember my many years on this earth. I start to write about Edward’s lust and how I plan on getting him to act on it. I want him begging for me to touch him.
I dry off and throw on some pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. I pick up a book and start reading the Night Before Christmas. I take some notice of the shower turning on, and off again. I hear the door shutting and Edwards’s footsteps as he goes into his room. His room is right across from mine, and I feel his contentedness, and guilt. I am unsure why he feels guilty but don’t think on it for too long. I get up and turn on some music so that I don’t spend the rest of the night focused on his every move; I need to take things slowly. I listen and remember all of the past Christmases we have had as a family. I have been so lucky to find this family and return to a regular life. It has meant so much to me to have a family that cares about me even though I have made some mistakes.
When I first joined the family, I had worried about doing or saying anything that would cause them to turn against me. I hid things about myself and I let them think other things that were untrue. I know better these days, but now I have a new worry. While I’m sure they would never have rejected me for desiring men or for not loving Alice in a sexual way, I don’t know how they will react to finding out I was untruthful. I worry once they find out they won’t love me anymore.
I spend a good part of the night thinking about what I love about each family member. I think of all the places we have lived, and all the things we have done together. I imagine all the different ways to tell them about my being gay, and the true nature of my relationship with Alice. I decide to do that first thing tomorrow before everyone leaves for the day.
I feel like a man possessed.
I haven’t ever wanted to be with someone as badly as I want to be with Jasper right now. Why am I just noticing Jasper for the first time as a sexual being? And why do I feel guilty? I can’t help what Jasper was thinking about, or the fact that it turned me on. No, that’s not it. I feel guilty because I am attracted to my sister’s mate.
The truth is they are complete together. They are so necessary to each other. I, of all people, would know that for sure. When they first came to us, I admit I spent a lot of time probing their thoughts. Alice saw Jasper as her destiny, and Jasper saw Alice as his savior. Jasper was leery of such a large group of vampires living together in peace, and his reason for staying was purely because of Alice. These days, I know all of us share tighter family bonds with Jasper, but Alice is still his anchor.
I know I can’t possibly act on my desires because I would tear our family apart. I think I need to plan a vacation in Alaska with the Denali clan. That way I can get away and hopefully clear my head so that I am able to come back and live with the family without causing any problems. I think I will talk to Carlisle and Esme about it tomorrow night. I lie on my sofa, my body cooling the dark leather beneath me, alternately thinking about Jasper naked and on top of me, and feeling deeply guilty for this newfound appetite. I decide to go out and hunt to get out of the house and to hopefully take the edge off before tomorrow morning.
In the morning, I dress and walk downstairs barefooted to tell the family my secret. Alice is beside me, holding my hand and smiling up at me. As soon as I had reached my decision to confess, I knew she would see it. Sure enough, she had entered my room just as I was wondering what her vision would show as my family’s reaction – acceptance? Disappointment? Disgust? Anger? Irritatingly, she wouldn’t give me any details. I could feel her happiness, though, and such deep pride. I don’t know that I deserve it, but I am grateful for it. If vampires have souls, then I know mine has found its twin in Alice.
We walk into the kitchen and see the family gathered around chatting about their plans. We are all out on school break so, except for Carlisle, we are just spending time together as a family, grateful for the brief respite from having to act human. Alice squeezes my hand and speaks up, “Hey everyone, we have something we would like to tell you.” She looks at me expectantly.
“This is difficult for me to say … so if you could just wait until I’ve said it all; I will answer any questions you have.” I feel everyone’s eyes on me and feel their confusion and love. That gives me some confidence so I go on. “Alice and I are not truly mates. We are bonded, of course, and we would probably be mates were it not for the fact that, to be honest, were I to have a mate he - that is to say, male. My mate would be male.” I stop and glance up for a fraction of a second. I take another fraction of a second to curse myself. That’s the best I can do for an explanation? I rush on, “I know I should have just told you when I first joined the family but I wasn’t used to trusting fellow vampires. Every vampire in my past has been sure to do one thing when they discover a secret – exploit it. I knew Alice wanted to stay with you and be a part of this family, and you seemed to accept us as a mated pair. I know better now, but at the time I thought you accepted us because we were a mated pair. I couldn’t jeopardize her happiness. I still can’t. So if you want me to leave, I will. But please know that Alice is not at fault. She always encouraged me to tell the truth; it was my choice to keep lying, not hers. ” I keep my eyes glued to the floor and wait for the accusations to start. But they never do.
“Jasper, why would we want you to move out? You are a son to us and we don’t care who you are attracted to. We love you and just want you to be happy. We want you to be happy being yourself around us. I’m only sorry it took you so long to feel comfortable enough,” Esme spoke up first. She gets up to hug me. And all of a sudden I am surrounded by my family all hugging me or giving me pats on the back.
“You big dork, why the hell would we care if you like guys or not? I don’t care; you’re still my brother,” Emmett booms as he slaps me on the back. “Of course,” Emmett continues , a look of forced severity barely containing the smile playing at the corners of his mouth, “that lying was out of line. So anytime Rosalie is furious at me in the next decade, I expect you to calm her down immediately, no matter where you are or what you’re doing.”
I feel relief flood into me. To be honest, Emmett had been the one I was most worried about. The whole family chimes in, saying it is all okay and that nobody wants me to leave. Edward looks at me and I can feel the curiosity and confusion practically pouring off of him.
“Now we have one more thing in common,” Edward mumbles. His eyes dart to the ground as the family looks at him in shock. “What? You’re not surprised, are you? I would have thought it was obvious. I figured it would come up eventually but there just hasn’t ever been anyone out there for me. But now that Jasper is coming out, I suppose I should as well.” He glances at me and looks away quickly.
I hear Rosalie mutter something that sounds suspiciously like, “Of course if he didn’t want me, how could he be straight? It makes so much sense now.”
“Well, now we know why Edward hasn’t ever been attracted to any of the women who have thrown themselves at him.” Emmett starts laughing and claps Edward on the shoulder.
“I’m glad this all turned out so well, but I’m going to go be embarrassed about not telling you sooner if you don’t mind,” I joke so the tension in the room would go away. Alice hugs me tightly and whispers in my ear, “Things will work out. Don’t worry about it.”
I don’t know what she can see, but I am worried and I have some thinking to do. Edward seems as turned on by me as I am by him, but does he know the full extent of my desires? Does he know my lust is woven with threads of control, domination? Does he know I want to explore that flirting, surging and blurry line between pleasure and pain with him? And what would happen to the family if we tried it out and it didn’t work?
I get outside as quickly as I can and take off running. Running is a great way to get away, both mentally and physically. I get into the woods and start to sprint. When I reach the field where we play baseball, I stop. I lay down and look up at the clouds. I let my mind wander and try to think through the possible outcomes. Alice had told me it would work out, but I’m worrying anyway.
After a while I think of one of the perfect outcomes. I picture Edward in my mind. Copper colored hair, full lips, lithe but muscular body, he is truly beautiful. I imagine him the way I want him. I want to watch as he slowly lifts his shirt over his head. I want to skim my fingers lightly over his chest and abdomen. I need to push him to his back and nip at his skin; he is exactly what I need. Still lost in my fantasies, I decide I have avoided the family for long enough and I stand up slowly and walk back toward the house.
I cannot believe I told the family about myself. I am in shock, not only because Alice and Jasper weren’t an actual couple but also because Jasper was gay too. I can’t believe my luck. I also can’t for the life of me figure out whether or not I am going to be able to act on my feelings for him. With the family around there is no way they won’t know if we decide to do something.
I find my feet carrying me outside. I think I’ll head toward the meadow. It’s always the place I go to figure things out. I am sure the way I felt last night wasn’t fleeting and wasn’t just lust. I have always felt a connection to Jasper as a friend. He and I are very much alike in that we both like music and like quiet. I begin to think that I am ready to try this; I am finally ready to open my heart to someone, to him. At that moment, I see Jasper walking towards the house. I stare at him and enjoy the chance to see him totally unguarded.
Jasper spends so much of his time feeling everyone else’s emotions that it is nice to see him by himself. He looks freer, somehow. He is breathtaking, and I wonder how I never noticed. He has a strong chin with a slight dimple, high cheekbones and hair that just begs to be touched. How have I never noticed this god living across the hall from me? I am so lost in my imagining that it takes me almost a full second to notice that he has stopped moving and is looking at me. I start walking towards him without conscious thought, without knowing what I will say when I get there.
In no time at all, I am inches from him. The look in his eyes is pure predator. I feel my knees go weak and I catch myself on his marble chest. I look at him. I know exactly what I want. I open my mind to hear his thoughts, hoping it’s exactly what he wants to give me.
I feel the lust, uncertainty and hope coming from Edward.
It’s now or never. I have to find out if he will think me a monster when he finds out what I want to do to him. I focus my thoughts, knowing he’s listening. I imagine him tied to a bed begging for release. I imagine him on his knees sucking me off. I imagine telling him what a good little cocksucker he is. I look at him and see him doing everything I want.
My sensitivity to others’ emotions has never been this highly tuned. I can feel every nuance of Edward’s desire. And as I envision scene after scene of domination and depravity, something amazing happens. Edward’s lust increases in fervor until it’s pulsing and throbbing so intensely I can’t just think these thoughts anymore – I have to make them real.
I push him against the nearest tree, grabbing his hair tightly in my right hand. I pull his head back at a painful angle, he whimpers and I am lost. I push my body against his and feel that he is already hard and panting. I lick up his neck from his collarbone, nipping gently at his ear. “I’m going to make you beg and sob before I give you release and you will only know release at my hand from now on. Do you understand darlin’?” I whisper. He tries to nod, but I jerk his head back harder. “You will answer me ‘Yes, Sir’. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir” he gasps. I smile at his obvious need for this. He needs to be dominated as much as I need to dominate. I grind tortuously slow against him. He mewls and rubs back against me. I lick across his lips, and then push my mouth violently against his. He opens freely and invites my tongue in to tangle with his. It is better than I could have imagined; he tastes clean and earthy. I am in a trance as I lift both of his hands above him and pin them to the tree.
He fights to touch me but I hold him in place, kicking his legs apart to leave him off balance. He looks into my eyes and I can see his need, as if it as solid as what’s pressing into my leg. He is nearly rabid with want. I am only going to make it worse.
I nibble down his throat drawing out moans and sighs as I travel from top to bottom. He is truly amazing to hear. Every noise is making me want to give him what he needs so badly, however that isn’t what this is about. I pull back and he starts trying to rub himself against my thigh. I tut at his shameless tactics and pull away completely. “Greedy whore, aren’t you?”
He looks at me crestfallen that I have left him in such a state. I have spent nearly a hundred and fifty years perfecting my control. I am not so easy to cave to my desires. I merely glance at him and smirk. I can feel his frustration, his desire, his confusion. I trail my hand softly down his chest. “I will see you in my room tonight at 7:00 sharp. Come in, strip naked and kneel on my floor until I arrive. I have some shopping to do between now and then.” He looks as though he is going to explode with unattended needs. “Do not touch yourself at all between now and then. I will know if you slake your lust at all. Do not disappoint me.” I turn and walk to the house, grinning.
The man is truly wicked. I cannot believe how he had me wanton in mere seconds. I am putty in his hands, and he left me nearly melting to the ground here in the woods. I am ashamed at how badly I need release right now. I watch as he stalks across the last hundred yards to the house. His jeans leave his ass perfectly framed and looking delicious. I am stunned by the overwhelming urge to catch up and beg him to give me release. In my more than one hundred years on this planet I have never been so aroused and frustrated at the same time. Jasper has turned my world upside down.
I am at his mercy, all because of a little foreplay and dirty words up against a tree. If I could die, he would surely be the death of me. I start slowly through the woods and cross into the backyard.
At the house I open the door cautiously and listen carefully to see who is in the living room. Emmett, Rosalie and Alice are all watching “Miracle on 34th Street” I decide to join them. Being in my room isn’t going to ease my discomfort and time will pass more slowly if I am by myself. I take a spot on the floor and glance around the room; as I suspected everyone is looking at me with grins firmly planted on their faces.
Carlisle comes home from work at about six and he and Esme join us. Esme asks where Jasper is and I feel as though I’m going to die. The whole family looks at me and I mention that he had some shopping to do before deciding I can no longer take it and head up to my room. As I walk up the stairs Alice loops her arm through mine. I look down at her and she grips me in a tight hug.
“I’m so happy for you.” She smiles at me and walks with me upstairs to my room. When we reach it she follows behind me and perches herself in a chair.
“What?” I ask irritably. I am uncomfortable about this as it is and she isn’t helping to calm my nerves. She pulls a box from behind her back.
“Jasper asked me to give this to you when you came in, but I figured you wouldn’t want to open it in front of everyone.” She hands me what appears to be a necklace box and winks at me. “Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine. In fact I imagine it will be better than fine. Just relax and take a shower before he gets here so you can calm down a bit you look a little high-strung.” With that she heads out of my room.
I open the box slowly and find a black leather collar embroidered with my name. I am shocked, but not too surprised. There is a note underneath it. I lift the note out of the box and read.
I want you to wear this. I will see you at seven. - Jasper
I decide to follow Alice’s advice and take a shower. When I’m finished, I head into Jasper’s room. It is completely rearranged and I notice some additions to the walls and floors. I slowly let my towel fall to the floor and with trembling hands I put the collar around my neck. I kneel as the clock turns to 7:00. I wait.
I waltz into the house at seven o’clock sharp. I find the family gathered in the living room watching Christmas movies. I smile and wave hello to everyone. I am calm on the outside but cannot wait to be upstairs in my room. I wonder if Edward will be able to go through with this. The family will know exactly what is going on, but I want him so badly that I couldn’t make plans to do this elsewhere.
I open the door to my room more slowly than usual. I want this moment to last. I glance inside and feel my stomach drop into my feet. He is sin incarnate, all strong lines and sensual beauty. He is kneeling perfectly and I feel as though I’ve been punched in the chest when I see my collar around his neck. He is mine. He is sure about this. I drop my bags on the floor and stalk across the floor to him. I lift his chin in my hand. His eyes meet mine and I see the trust there. I will not abuse that trust. I will bring him pleasure, and I will teach him the intricacies of making love in this kind of relationship.
“Stand up,” I command as I begin pulling things out of my bag. It takes strong stuff to be able to make a vampire feel confined instead of merely “playing tied up.” His answer is somewhat of a surprise to me; I thought he might’ve forgotten.
“Yes, Sir.” He sounds unsure but he is here, and he is doing as I say. I look my fill as I circle him like a lion circles his prey. He is strong but compact. He has a swimmer’s build. I run my fingernail over his hardened nipple and twist it mercilessly between my fingertips. He moans and his head falls back. I pull away and his head snaps up. I walk over and grab the Inconel handcuffs out of my drawer. These are a custom set of four. I ordered them months ago when I first started fantasizing about this very moment. I had hoped I would be able to use them. Inconel is used almost exclusively in aerospace applications because it makes titanium look like soft clay. These cuffs won’t keep a vampire captive whose life depends on escaping, but they also won’t bend or break open easily. I lead Edward over to the bed. I tell him to lay with his arms and legs spread as wide as he can. He answers swiftly. I handcuff him to the reinforced four poster bed and tug at the cuffs to show him he’s truly bound. After a century of being able to mangle any metal he sees, I can tell the strength of these cuffs shocks him. I feel a wave of trepidation wash over him. I smile, and walk back over to get his blindfold.
I lean down and kiss him firmly for a minute, savoring his taste and enjoying the feel of his lips sliding against mine. I reluctantly pull back and tell him to close his eyes. I tie the blindfold and straddle him. I am still fully clothed but we are both hard. I move down his body and rub our erections together. I feel an electric current run through my body at the touch. It has been far too long since I have had a person in bed with me. I have to go slow, but my body is saying otherwise. I get up and slither out of my clothing. I find the feather I bought and bring a handful of other items with me to put on the nightstand.
I drag the feather from his foot to his groin. He begins to writhe beautifully. I chase it up his chest and swirl it around a nipple. He moans. I bite him playfully and he sighs. I begin to touch him with my deft fingers. I slide a finger into my mouth and then run it down his sternum. I blow cold air onto it and he shivers. I know he’s not actually cold, but I can feel how heightened his senses are. I straddle him again and slide so that our erections are lined up against each other. I grasp the two of us in my hands pressing us firmly together. He moans loudly at the sensation. I grip us tightly together and slide my hands up and down forming a fast pace. I feel his balls draw up and I let go quickly, pulling his balls down harshly to stop his orgasm. He grunts in frustration.
I reach over and grab the lube I brought with me and pour it over his chest. I begin massaging. He is moaning steadily now, and writhing with each sure, firm stroke. I use my body as a tool and slide up and down nipping his neck and chest as I go. He starts mumbling incoherently, and I hear “More. Please. Faster.” He is rocking against me trying to gain purchase so that he might find release and I decided to further torment him. I oil up a finger and reach behind him to his puckered entrance.
I slide my finger around and around until he is swaying back and forth trying to urge me on. I slide my finger into him slowly, until I am one knuckle in. He starts begging for more, asking with words and movement for me to go faster. I work my finger into to him slowly sliding in and out working him looser until he screams, “More, I need more. Please god, give me more. Jasper I need it.” I almost lose control as I hear my name spoken like a prayer. I can’t do anything but oblige and I slide a second finger in. I begin scissoring them as he bucks frantically trying to get me to hit that spot inside of him. I curl my fingers violently and he shouts “Yes!!! Oh yes, that’s it, Jasper. Please please please please,” he begins to chant.
I knew he would beg. I knew he would beg me for this. He sounds heavenly; his voice is the most erotic thing I’ve ever heard. I want to see his eyes look up at me; I want to see his face as he shouts my name in orgasm. I untie the blindfold and remove my fingers to kiss him. He is keening at the loss, and begins his mantra again. I may not have a heartbeat, but I’m not a heartless bastard. He looks frenzied as he looks into my eyes. His hair is wild on the pillow, and I run my fingers through it griping tightly. I suck on his neck hard. I look into his eyes and ask what I’ve wanted to all night. “I want to mark you. But only if you want it too. Edward, do you want me to mark you as mine?”
He looks into my eyes and says “Yes, Sir.” I feel his trust, desire, and love all combined and all for me. If I could cry I would, at this happiest day of my life. I look into his eyes and smile the widest smile of my life. I bring my mouth to his hip, and I bite down hard enough to break his skin. I slide my fingers into him at the same time to distract him from the pain. I thrust in and out, curling into that spot on each thrust as I push just a small amount of venom into the bite. I lick it to take some of the burn away and pull back to look into his eyes.
The look alone nearly kills me, he trusts me implicitly. As my fingers moved faster and faster he begins his chant again “Please Jasper, I need you so badly. Please I want you inside of me.” I can’t hold out any longer. I pull my fingers back and slide up to kiss him. It is soft and gentle, and it is incongruent with how hard and fast I slide into him. It is slick and tight and feels like heaven on Earth. I pull out and slam back into him. His eyes screw shut with the pleasure and pain mixed together. He is so close and I can tell he is fighting against his own orgasm, because I haven’t given him permission.
I am getting close and I wrap my hand around him and squeeze. He looks at me desperately, begging for release. I look him in the eye and say, “When I tell you to come, I want you to come.” He replies, “Yes, Sir.” I begin thrusting as fast as I can, my hand working in time with my thrusts, one, two, and three. “Come!” We both climax at the same time. I collapse on top of him and lie there basking in the aftermath.
After a short time I unlock his handcuffs. We lie wrapped in each other’s arms and I run my fingers over his newly scarred hip. “I love you, Edward.” I am afraid of what his reaction will be.
But almost at once, I feel the power of his emotions and I know this is a better Christmas present than I ever could have hoped for. He looks at me as though I am his everything. “I think I’ve always loved you, Jasper,” he says, and it feels like coming home.
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